torching time, talking rhymes

A poem, until tomorrow

2006-09-23T01:14:00.000-04:00

Alright.. I know I've been slacking off already, but my week has been the worst week ever. I know it's no excuse, but I don't feel like writing.. and I don't feel like eating or sleeping or walking or anything..

So, I'm going to leave y'all with a poem today. I am taking a poetry class this semester, and I am in love with it. I am seriously considering changing my major. I want to write for a living. I wrote this poem for our 2nd workshop. So far, I have only heard good things about my poems, and the class seems to enjoy them. That is a GREAT boost of confidence for me. It is SO hard for me to let people read my poems, but it is getting easier and easier, and I actually like it. It's good to know that I can write something that moves other people. So, here it is. Enjoy.

blink

“hell is other people”
jean-paul sartre

to fall asleep to the
beating of your heart as
your breath slowly moves
down that part
of my neck
sending goosebumps scattering
down my spine as you line
your plump pink lips on the base
and move them in gentle whispers

is to feel heaven

but here, tonight
as the tears caress my face
because you won’t
and i lace my fingers through my hair and pull
you sit there as i cry
watching as my soul slowly fades away
and listening to you mutter these lame excuses
hurts like a thousand paper cuts

and i am in hell

(okay.. the lines look different but i cant do the spacing on this!!!! it makes me angry... the 1st stanza is ordered, and the 2nd is spaced differently, chaotic, to add to the emotions in the poem.. okay?)

Happy Happy!

2006-09-14T20:11:00.000-04:00

Happy birthday to the sister who aspires to be like me..

(Do you get that one, Heather. Tee hee!)

I love you!

I'm back.. if you'll have me!

2006-09-13T18:59:00.000-04:00

Well, the only person that is going to read this (because I'm sure I've lost all of my readers by now) has successfully called me out and has made me feel guilty about abandoning my dear, sweet blog (I felt guilty before, don't get me wrong). Needless to say, it has worked, and here I am!

I know that Summertiiiime is over. TRUST ME! I've been walking around campus freezing my tits off (and you know that's a lot of freezing). And I must add that Cinco de Mayo is every day here at JMU, but whatever..

What I'm trying to say is I'm sorry. Really, I am, but I'll have you know that I am seriously considering changing my major to (or at least minoring in) CREATIVE WRITING!!!! (That means I might blog more! Well, I'll blog more regardless or my sister will drive up here and beat my ass!)

So, I'll try to write daily, but now I must start working on some homework (or procrastinating.. you know me!)

Until TOMORROW,
Adios

Summertiiiime, and the livin's easy*

2006-05-05T14:49:00.000-04:00

My first year of college is now officially over (and has been since 8:36 am Thursday). YES! I am so glad it's over. (Not that I didn't enjoy college; trust me, I may have enjoyed it a little too much!) I'm just glad that I don't have class and I don't have to bullshit my way through anymore papers and I don't have to listen to crazy professors teach me things I will NEVER need in my life (such as changing a number from base 10 into base 3--WTF??--or the incubation period for herpes... wait.. may need that one.. jk) and that I don't have class.

I may not be writing for a couple of days because I need to get myself settled (i.e. turn the piles of shit I brought home into neat piles of clothes and books, locate my underwear--I'm all out, and reclaim my room).

So, don't miss me too much. I'll be back soon.

Oh, and how could I forget... HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!!!!

*It's from a Sublime song! And you should know this because Sublime simply kicks ass.

M.I.A. UPDATE!

2006-04-30T16:05:00.000-04:00

Bear was found wrapped up in a pocketbook, in a long storage bin Friday. I guess he was tired of being at college, too, so he planned his escape. Obviously, it was successful. He put me through one night of hell, but I'll forgive him because he's too cute. This is a picture of Bear and I very early on in our relationship (courtesy of HD, my sister). I am three years old; the pictures he participated in were pre-school pictures, not kindergarten.

Aren't we cute?

I'm glad he's back. Thank you, Mom, for searching everywhere. And thank you, Heather, for the picture. When I get back, we're throwing a HUGE party in celebration of his return. Wanna smoke a doobie, Mom?*

*Just so you know, my mom doesn't smoke doobies. She'd probably freak out if anyone thought she did. I like to freak her out.

M.I.A. (which can also stand for My Insides Ache)

2006-04-27T23:18:00.000-04:00

Tonight I lost a very special friend. Because I don't have a picture of him, I drew one for you, here.

Bear. He was a good bear. I'm not really sure if Bear is his name; actually, I'm not really sure he has ever had a name. So, in his memory, I will now give him a name.. Hmm..

Winslow. He was a good bear. We've been together since.. since I can remember. He didn't hog the covers, but that little shit loved to pull a Dutch Oven on me. He was always willing to sit around in one of these babies (the red and yellow kind--you know!!--when we were both very young) and endure many hours of supermarket fun. He even agreed to participate in my Kindergarten photos (mine and every other kid's--I bet there were some pretty pissed off moms because he was even mangy then!). He kept me company on rainy, stormy nights. He always had good jokes. He lost his tongue a while back, so he is mute now. (Don't worry, we've mastered sign language.)

Today, my mom, sister, and sister's boyfriend came up to take a few things home (BECAUSE MY FIRST YEAR OF COLLEGE IS OFFICIALLY OVER IN T-MINUS 7 DAYS!). Before they came, I made my bed and placed Cookie and Winslow (Bear) on my bed, right next to my blankie (if any of you are laughing at me because I still sleep with Cookie--since 4th grade--my blankie--since I was BORN-- and Winslow--since I can remember--THEN YOU ARE DEAD TO ME! HAVE YOU NO SOUL?). We packed my things into the car, went to exchange some things at Target, and then had a nice dinner at Chili's. I noticed Winslow was missing when we returned.

After everyone left, I tore my room to pieces. I stripped my bed and pulled it away from the wall (not there, nor was he underneath the bed). I looked inside the desk drawers, my clothes drawers, my closets, my fridge, my camera case, and my basket of dirty clothes--Winslow was nowhere to be found. My heart sank.

My mom says she will look in everything we packed, but I am pretty sure he isn't there. Did you see Cookie. Here, look at him again. Notice how jacked up his arm is? It had to be sewed back on because Walter the Glutton (aka Sir Caesar Goliath--named before we got him.. we are not that psycho) decided he looked tasty. Also, that pink belly is not his original belly, nor are his ears, tale, or tongue. You probably can't tell from the picture, but he is pretty raggety. I've had him for almost 10 years.

Now, imagine Winslow, who I've had for about 17 years. He's even worse off than Cookie. Tell me, who would steal a mangy ass bear? (And no one can call him mangy but me.. He may be ragged and worn, but he's my widdle waggety Winslow!)

If Winslow isn't in anything that I packed up, I am informing my RA's that we have a major crisis on our hands. And that I will go Tom Cruise on someone's ass if Winslow isn't found before I leave.

(In all seriousness.. this bear means a whole lot to me. I freakin' cried, okay? If I don't find him, I will be devastated; a little piece of me will die inside. I will miss him tonight. I hope you come home safe, Winslow.)

Robot invasion

2006-04-27T11:25:00.000-04:00

I had a dream Monday night that scared the holy living shit out of me. (I am writing about it now because earlier I did not have a paper to write, thus I did not have the need to procrastinate.)

This dream was actually quite funny, and I believe that a few of my readers would like it to come true.. sort of.

The dream started off in the dining room of my house. It was dark outside, not nighttime dark, but "it's about to rain and something horrible (such as The End of the World) is about to happen" dark. (You know that time between daylight and dusk, when it's "cozy" dark outside, the perfect time for a nap, and it feels like something (good or bad) could happen? Is that just me? Anyway, that's what time it was in my dream.)

We were having a family dinner, though an odd one (it really won't seem odd unless you are, in fact, part of my family). Those present were my oldest sister (just her, not my other sister), my mom, my dad, and my grandparents (dad's side.) (Now you see why this is a dream? I just don't think this could happen.. ha).

ANYWAYYSSS.. my sister said something about the war and it being over soon hopefully (whatever she said in the dream was awesome.. but I forgot about it as the dream progressed..). My grandmother gasped and said, "HEATHER! ARE YOU A PART OF THIS FAMILY??" I then went on to bash Bush with my sister, and got into a heated argument with my grandmother. Something along the lines of "I hate Bush, if that means I can't be part of this family.. well, then... I REALLY REALLY REALLY HATE BUSH!"

That didn't make my grandmother very happy. All of a sudden, the only people in the dream are my grandparents and me. We are in our living room now, the lights are all off (is this necessary), and it's beginning to get a little creepy. My grandfather is trying to calm my grandmother down. It isn't working. Fire is coming out of her nose, her head is smoking, and wait.. yes, it's starting to spin.

Literally... turns out, she's a robot. (Go figure.) My grandfather then disappears. It's only me and the flesh-eating, very hungry, Bush-loving, liberal-hating, robot grandmother. I'm seriously terrified. This may sound funny to you guys, but I wanted to die. I had to smash my grandmother's face into concrete, over and over and over again.

Now, whoever made my robot grandmother was very smart, because it appears that she never dies. I grab my suitcase (I guess I was prepared for a robot invasion) and head for the car. I jump in the car only to realize that it's not a car. It's a freakin' camper. Not a camper with a steering wheel and stuff, but one that you attach to a car. And guess what? There is no car attached to it.

So I shrug and go inside to smash my grandmother's face into the concrete until she DOES DIE. I then go into the kitchen and eat cupcakes like nothing has happened.

Just kidding.. I run outside and a bunch of guys are standing in my driveway. THEY HAVE A JEEP! I grab the keys and tell them we must go; my grandmother is a robot, and I'm not sure if she really is dead. We all go to a frat party that ends in disaster. The building collapses, the toilets explode. There is filth everywhere. I have been taken to the robot headquarters. I see millions of robots coming towards me as I hide in a little crack in the wall. My grandmother is at the front, buzzing and sparking because concrete beats metal...

...and I wake up. DAMMIT! I wanted to know what happened, too. But after I woke up (I did laugh a little), I couldn't get back to sleep. I kept looking around the room for something, anything. I just had a weird feeling... and I was really, really scared.

You can all laugh at me now.

Tomatoes and free wings

2006-04-22T14:55:00.000-04:00

On Thursday (4/20--keep this in mind)** I went to dinner with a couple of friends to Buffalo Wild Wings. If you filled out an ungodly amount of paperwork (credit card offers and such) you could get a free burger or free wings.

I am notorious for getting a cheeseburger whenever I go out to dinner, so I gladly filled out the papers and was SO FREAKIN' EXCITED about my free cheeseburger (when we got in there though, THEY WERE OUT OF BURGERS--how? why? you suck!--so I ate the wings and I have no complaints).

I am getting off topic here. The first sheet of paper we had to fill out had the words Tell us about yourself! at the very top. The lonely guy that was with us (4 girls) wrote, in the place where they asked for your name, I like tomatoes.

He claimed he was telling them about himself. I laughed for about 20 minutes. I had tears running down my face. I'm sure everyone thought we were high (nope, Mom, you weren't there, so I wasn't!!).

**For those of you who don't know, the number 420 is associated with the act of, well getting high. On April 20th stoners everywhere celebrate by.. well, basically by getting high all day long.

Oh, and Happy Earth Day!!

I'm a thief (plus an update on the craziness of Tom Cruise)

2006-04-19T14:12:00.000-04:00

When I went home for Easter, I applied for a job and was hired at the restaurant (all at the same time) in less than 20 minutes. I'd like to think that it was because I made such a good impression on the manager, or because of my exquisite beauty, but neither of those things are true. My sister works at the same restaurant; therefore, I GET THE JOB. Period.

Now, do you guys remember my BEST FRIEND FOR EVER AND EVER?! Well, I've finally gotten my revenge. She applied for the same job, but she doesn't have a sister. So, she is not as lucky as I am. I stole her job. Serves her right, the little whore.

I had lunch with her today, and, naturally, I wanted to rub it in. So, I told her I got the job, and man oh man, I wish you could've seen her face. If it were possible to die from a look, I wouldn't be sitting here typing this. She whined and said she really really needed the job and if she didn't get the job, she wouldn't be coming back to school next year.

WHAT?!?! DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT?! I STOLE YOUR JOB AND COULD HAVE POSSIBLY KEPT YOU FROM COMING BACK HERE?!?!**

Thank you, God. I'm glad you chose to answer this prayer before any others.

**Okay, just so you know, I am not really this cruel. It wasn't my plan for her to never return to college, really, I never wished that. But, in all honesty, she said she didn't really like it here.. so.. I kinda helped her out.

----------

And now, an update on Tom Cruise:

Tom Cruise had to publicly announce that he wasn't going to eat his newborn baby's PLACENTA. Now, the fact that he had to actually publicly announce this proves that he is batshit crazy. If you don't believe this, then what the hell is wrong with you??

Home again, home again

2006-04-14T14:47:00.000-04:00

I'm going home again this weekend. I miss it, what can I say? I may write while I'm there (unless I get too pissed off and break our prehistoric computer by hurling it down our very steep driveway), so stay tuned!!

He's almost as annoying as this incessant ringing in my ear

2006-04-10T11:48:00.000-04:00

I just visited one of my favorite bloggers, Viva Las VegASS.. very, very wise man, has a good idea. Go here and read Saturday's post.

Now, go here, and read these definitions. 4, 5, and 6 are my favorites.

He's a freaking moron, okay? And I am pretty sure he is insane. He is beyond insane, if that is possible, and this couch-jumping freak proves it is.

That said and done.. Look at this:

Okay.. If I were Oprah in this position, I would have curled into the fetal position and cried for my Mommy on national television. Tom looks angry.. and hungry.. and ready to pounce. WTF?! I think I'm going to have nightmares tonight.

So...

Do you really want to support this nutcase.. this crazy, crazy, asshole?? If you do, you are dead to me. BOYCOTT TOM!!

This post would make my grandmother (and many other family members, perhaps) convulse

2006-04-10T00:46:00.000-04:00

This weekend, as you all know, I went to GREEK WEEK at HAMPDEN-SYDNEY COLLEGE (that's the only way I will write that because in my mind I'm screaming and WOOO HOOOOing). HSC is a small, all-male college in Bumfuck, USA (yes.. I know what some of you are thinking, teehee), but boy do they know how to party!!

I had way too much fun this weekend, and I am pretty sure I will do no more partying this school year (I have, like, 3 more weekends, I can do it). I mean, I still have a ringing in my ear from last night at this time (ZOSO, kickass Led Zep cover band, and I was in the front row, and the speaker and I were BFFs). I KID YOU NOT. I wish I were lying to you, but I'm not. It sounds like some little guy is stuck inside of my ear, in a very tiny automobile with a VERY LOUD horn, and this little guy is pissed off at the world.. or his horn is stuck. Seriously, I have no other way to describe it; it sounds like someone is lying on his horn in my ear.

There were other bands there, as well, and I danced too much, and I sang too much.. and I probably did too much of anything I did there. I saw old friends, made plenty of new friends, climbed out of a 4-story window on a rickety ass ladder (never. again. ever.), did not get to bed before 5 (either night), saw a TON of things I would never EVER want to see EVER EVER again (let's just keep it at that), wore a spiderman innertube into a restaurant at 4 o'clock in the morning (okay, seriously, if you worked in a restaurant near HSC that was still open at 4 AM.. would this phase you? And no, I really don't know why I did this.), annndd.. I don't remember what else I did. (No, in all seriousness, hand on the Bible, I remember everything, but I think I'm just going to stop here.

(BUT I WAS RESPONSIBLE, MOM, PROMISE!! And I am alive. And I didn't do any hard-core drugs or participate in too many orgies. So don't worry, your little baby hasn't turned into a coke-slut!!)

I am a horrible blogger

2006-04-06T14:44:00.001-04:00

I haven't been posting like I should, nor have I been reading MY FAVORITE BLOGS! But I have been busy. This week I have had a lot of school stuff to do (i.e. figure out where I'm living next year, meet with my new advisor--who never showed up!, figure out what classes I will be taking next year.. blah blah blah)

I know I could have probably blogged in the middle of all of this, but I'm going to blame it on my one-track mind. I am going home today because my mom and I have figured out that I have PINK EYE (any question I have, I google it!). On Friday, I will be traveling to some of my guy friends' college for GREEK WEEK and a birthday. YAY! So, needless to say, I won't be blogging this weekend.

I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE that I will blog when I get back. Have a great weekend.

I'm back and I'm bored

2006-04-03T15:09:00.000-04:00

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Ten years ago I was in the third grade. I had a boyfriend (whom I continued to date on and off for the next 6 years), and I had a crush on every other guy in my class. I had an ongoing battle with one of the girls in my class because she cussed all the time. And I was a tattle tale.

2. What were you doing 1 year ago?
One year ago I was STILL anxiously awaiting an acceptance letter from UVA. Sadly, it never came. The letter where I got declined did come, though. I was a senior in high school, and I just wanted school to end. I was the editor of the yearbook and was trying to get everything in order for the 10 billion deadlines I had. I finally got my license (I'm a BIG procrastinator).

3. Five snacks you enjoy:
animal crackers
cheese and crackers
chocolate-chip cookie dough ice cream
carrots
croutons and cheese

4. Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
Bliss Like This by Ani DiFranco
Breathe by Pink Floyd
Hey Jude by The Beatles
Karma Police by Radiohead
People Are Strange by The Doors

5. Five bad habits:
putting things off 'til the last minute
taking too many showers
locking myself out of my dorm room and/or locking the keys inside
sleeping WAY TOO LATE
I can control myself when it's completely necessary, but I cuss a lot

6. Five things you like doing:
taking pictures (behind the camera, not in front of)
spending time with my family and friends
swimming in a lake
reading
making jewelry

7. Five things you would never wear, buy, or get again:
turkey burgers (EW. EW. EW.)
shoes like this (I wore them once, for my sister, and I will never do it again)
(This is really hard for me.. I can't really think of anything else that has scarred me for life.. so I'll just leave it at that)

8. Five favorite toys:
iPod
iTrip
camera
computer (even though most of the time, we don't get along)
frisbee

9. Five people I want tagged:
Anyone who feels the need

Where I've been and where I'll be

2006-03-28T17:47:00.000-05:00

I went home last weekend, and I forgot to let everyone know. I'll write about this later, because now I am sick, and I don't feel like doing much of anything. I'll be back sometime later this week.

Ciao.

It's only a matter of time...

2006-03-22T19:48:00.000-05:00

...BEFORE. I. DIE!!!! (three days, in fact) OH GOD! I just cut my finger on my window, and I just recently read this.

Am I a little too paranoid? I think not. Flesh-eating bacteria ain't nothin' to f*ck with (Wu-Tang Clan fans out there? No? I hope there's at least one...)

Okay, so if I die.. sue my school and uh.. you guys can keep the money. I'm going to go do all the things I want to do before I die (Johnny Depp, a number of drugs, strip in a nightclub, be extremely promiscuous, and swim in a vat of noodles).

Okay, just kidding.. but the noodles do sound promising.

Dorms=DEATH

2006-03-22T14:25:00.000-05:00

I really hate dorms. This is the 4th.. 5th? time I've been sick this school year, and I don't usually get sick that often. And I am doomed to live in a dorm next year, as well. I'm definitely going to tell the people at Resident Life that I have some serious psychological problems (would I be lying?) so that I can get a room all to myself, again!

This isn't the only reason I hate dorms. There are a number of reasons, and they include:

1. The toilet paper is SO DAMN HARD, and it only comes off in 1 little square. So, I have to sit there for 3 minutes tearing off sandpaper so I can wipe. Yeah. Great.
2. I hate girls.
3. There's always hair in the showers! (Yes, mom, I know there's hair in our shower, too, but not as much and I know those hairs!!)
4. My room smells like garbage because of the dumpster conveniently located under my window. (This wouldn't bother me one bit if I could throw my trash into it by leaning out the window... but I can't.)
5. I hate girls.
6. The walls are too thin. My nights consist of AWFUL RAP MUSIC below me (c'mon, if you're going to blast it, play something worth listening to.. seriously), horrible domestic fights behind me (I swear she hits him all the time), even worse fights to the right of me (ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS whining to her boyfriend who calls her a bitch every 5 seconds--and I'd have to say I agree. 100%.), and people who seem to be throwing around their furniture above me.
7. My common room smells even worse than the dumpster (thanks to the lovely, bitchy suitemates of mine).
8. I hate girls.

I could go on, but I think you get the deal. Now, I'm going to go pump myself full of orange juice and soup and read the whole day. Ciao.

God hates math, too

2006-03-21T11:37:00.000-05:00

..except for that whole "everything in the universe is related to math" thing.. (Watch the movie Pi.) But trust me, he hates math, too, or he understands how much I hate math because for the past 2 weeks, I have not had a math class!! (Well, 3 weeks if you count that one week I just skipped altogether..)

Miss THETA has been sick for the past 2 weeks (bless her heart.. but HELL YES!). This gives me ample amount of time to catch up by reading my comic book text book. Seriously, this is why I'm doing a shitty job in MATH 103! I don't have a real book; I have a damn comic book (I'm serious. It's a real comic book). Yeah, thanks a lot, Theta.

It is snowing outside right now, and I hope that my other 2 classes will be cancelled as well. If they aren't though, I think I'll be alright. My English 239 class is awesome. My professor looks like The Dude (from The Big Lebowski). It'll only be funny to you if you know who he is.. I mean, my professor talks like him, moves like him, and even drinks out of a kahlua cup (The Dude only drinks White Russians)! It's too funny.

But.. whatever. Bring on the snow; I'd rather sleep.

From Amsterdam with Love

2006-03-20T20:03:00.000-05:00

I got the best phone call of my life yesterday. My best friend Sam from Amsterdam (I call her Amsterdammy Sammy) called, and it was so awesome! I've never gotten a phone call from anyone overseas (...I don't think so, anyway..?), and it sounded as if she were in the next room (I just think that is amazing.).

Sam was an exchange student in my town my senior year. We would always sit with each other during the guys' soccer games and swim meets, and we always sat on the hood of my car and talked after school. Our friendship grew with those meetings, which were the only times we ever saw each other, unless we ran into each other at a party. Now that Sam is gone, I've realized what an awesome friend she is, and I wish that we would've spent more time with each other.

I would have to say that Sam is my best girl friend (besides my sisters), which is weird because she lives IN AMSTERDAM. (I might have to stop here and say that I have about 3 true girl friends; the rest are guys. I just don't really like girls. They are too... girly, duh, and petty and two-faced. It's just SUPER HARD to be friends with a girl.) But Sam is my best friend. I tell her everything, and we talk almost every day.

This summer, I am getting a job so that I can by myself a plane ticket to Amsterdam. That's all I need: 1 plane ticket.. and a little extra spending money. But I'm going to work really hard because this is something I really want to do. It's my best friend (WHO FREAKIN' LIVES IN AMSTERDAM! WOO HOO), why wouldn't I?

Wocka wocka wocka!

2006-03-17T01:31:00.000-05:00

I just went to a discussion on Knot Theory for extra credit in my Math 103 class. I need extra credit in my Math 103 class.. how pathetic is that?

This discussion did nothing for me but prove my theory that all mathematicians are complete and total nerds. (I think everyone knows this, though.) The guy giving the speech was your typical nerd, and I think that he may love math more than my BATSHIT CRAZY teacher with the middle name THETA (which she chose herself).

This guy had red hair and glasses.. I'm talking flaming red hair. (I know, you're thinking how much nerdier can he get? Just wait.) From where I was sitting, it looked as if his glasses had a piece of tape holding them together in the middle (like Harry Potter). Now, I'm sure, at least I hope, beg, pray to God, that my eyes were playing tricks on me; however, I didn't get a good close-up look, so let's just say the guy had tape holding his glasses together. Plus, he sniffed about every 5 minutes. I'm talking really gross, nasally, snotty, I'm a sick nerd sniffs. It was quite unappealing. To top it all off, HE SOUNDED LIKE KERMIT THE FROG. AND! (there's an and!!!) HE LOOKED LIKE FOZZIE! I kid you not.. Kermit and Fozzie all mixed into one.

Now, how am I supposed to sit through this discussion, take notes so that I may write an acceptable paper, and not laugh my ass off while Kermit Fozzie talks about knots? I just couldn't do it. For the first.. it had to be 5 minutes, I sat there and just stared at the poor guy. With my mouth hanging open. (I'm not kidding.. I finally realized what I was doing when the guy sitting next to me turned and laughed--because he understood where I was coming from--, and I composed myself.)

I did manage to get enough notes for my 1-page paper (thank GOD it wasn't any more..), but I'm not sure how it's going to sound.. considering the only words running through my head were "Wocka wocka wocka!!"

I'm stuck in *"High Fidelity"

2006-03-15T22:03:00.000-05:00

Before I start, someone wrote "Beware the Ides of March" on the sidewalk on campus and it made my day. I just appreciate things that like, I guess... but I hope nothing fatal happened to anyone today! (But beware, the day is not over..)

Now, I'll continue..

I absolutely love music. I can't do anything productive without music, and if it's really quiet while I'm doing anything (showering, reading, writing, homework, making jewelry.. anything!), I have to turn on music. I love discovering new bands or artists, and I love sharing my music with others. This is why I am trying to make my sister a Radiohead mixed CD.

Radiohead is one of my all-time favorite bands ever. Their music inspires me, and they are just f*ing awesome in my opinion. My sister wants to hear them because I talk about them a lot. For those of you who know Radiohead, you know that they aren't for everyone, that some of their music would appeal to someone who has never heard them and then some of it won't. Some may say that their music is "weird." No, it's just different!

What I'm trying to get at while I'm rambling away is this: making a mixed CD is HARD! It's a form of art, I think, because you have to pick the right songs, and you have to put them in the right order. And making a Radiohead cd for my sister, who mainly listens to folk music (well.. she listens to a great variety of things.. but whatever) is really tough. I want her to like Radiohead, and even if she doesn't love them as much as I do, I at least want her to appreciate them (I'm sure she will).

And this is why it is going to take me a couple of days to finish this CD, plus the fact that I am very indecisive and have soooo many songs to choose from!!

Am I the only one that takes a mixed CD this seriously?

*"High Fidelity," book & movie about the mixed tape, among other things (heartbreak, love, hating your job, I guess just life in general).

I swear I didn't know ducks could be scary

2006-03-14T22:41:00.000-05:00

It has come to my attention that I have a few irrational fears. I know this, okay? I mean.. don't we ALL have something that just scares the holy living shit out of us, something that we know is completely ridiculous, but we turn into a raving lunatic whenever this "thing" appears?

Yes you do, and if you say you don't, you're lying.

I am afraid of blood. Whenever someone talks about it or whenever I see it or taste it or think about it, I get nervous and my body tenses up. (I just got a chill thinking about it). I don't know why I have this fear. Blood doesn't hurt me, it's keeping me alive, blah blah blah BUT IT SCARES ME!!!!!! I will freak the hell out. And this is bad because my mom works in a hospital and just loves loves loves to share all kinds of really gross stories with her children.

I am afraid of spiders. I absolutely hate spiders.. with a fiery, burning passion, I hate them. I once went camping with my oldest sister (well, a yurt isn't exactly camping.. but there were more bugs in that yurt than any tent I have ever been in since!!) and I was going to sleep on the top of a bunk bed while my sister slept in a different bed. As soon as I climbed into bed, I spotted a spider the size of my head (maybe a little smaller) oh so close to my bed. My sister came to the rescue (but she doesn't like spiders any more than I do.. I guess the "rescuer" has to be older than the "rescuee" in cases like this...) and smacked the culprit with a shoe.

Yayyy, right? Wrong. The spider fell, and for the rest of the trip, although there was a bunk bed and a queen-size bed in the yurt, I had to sleep with my sister. I just had visions of this spider crawling all over me, leaving her little babies in my ears and nose, and then some day later my cheek exploding because a million little spider babies have been born. (See.. it is a tiny bit irrational.) And whenever I see a spider, I imagine it miraculously growing 100 times its size, tapping me on the shoulder while my back is turned, and gobbling me up in one bite. I don't know why, but I swear on my life I think that every time I see a damn spider. I'm even afraid of grandaddy long-legs.. and they're supposed to be all cute and shit. Yeah, whatever.

Now, this next fear is hilarious, but it isn't really a fear. I spent some time with my ex-boyfriend over spring break, and because our town is the most boring place on earth and nothing was going on, I decided that we should just sit by the lake and talk. While we were there, 4 ducks began to walk up to where we were sitting. Ex-BF said something to me about me freaking out and being afraid of the ducks if they got too close. I, being a dumbass, said "I most certainly am not afraid of ducks!" Well, I was wrong because those little shits got ONE FOOT FROM ME and I kinda freaked out because they bite and I've heard it hurts like hell. It's not like I'm normally afraid of ducks; I'm not really, but when they get too close, I do run back a little. I just don't want one to bite me, thank you very much.

So there you have it, I'm afraid of ducks. Laugh at me. (And if you want to laugh at me more, hear this: Today, I locked myself out of my room, naked, for the THIRD TIME. I don't know what my problem is.)

HELLo, I'm back

2006-03-13T22:46:00.000-05:00

I am back at school, and I wish that I weren't.

(Brace yourselves here because I'm about to complain.)

It is HOTTER THAN HELL in my dorm. (refer back to here.. 2nd paragraph... it's still that hot.) Freshmen aren't worthy enough for air conditioning, I guess. I'm about to die, and to make matters worse, my precious fan has died. Now, if you really knew me, then you would know how this is going to affect me... in a number of ways.

1. I'm going to be a huge bitch... because I HATE SUMMER! (I know it isn't here yet, but it feels like it.) I only hate summer because it's super hot, and when I get too hot, I turn into a total bitch. I'll snap at anyone and anything, even the damn fan, which i have kicked numerous times in the past 20 minutes.

2. I'm going to have to take a bunch of showers. I hate getting all sweaty for no reason. I take an ungodly amount of showers some days because I just can't stand feeling dirty.. even if I'm not dirty at all, even if I've had a shower already... And now that it is hot, I will get sweaty and I will feel really gross, and I will take more showers.

3. My room is going to stink. Why? Because this wonderfully beautiful, hot weather intensifies the smell of the trash from the dumpster beneath my window and the cow shit from the 987 billion farms that surround my campus. This is absolutely disgusting. I already have to deal with the world's most disgusting suitemates, and now this. DAMN.

Besides that.. I guess I'm kinda glad to be back, but I miss my family and my big bed. Now, though, I need to unpack and TAKE A SHOWER and sleep because I am getting up early to go to the gym. (Yes, I know, I can already hear the laughter.. but believe me, I am going.) I will fill you in on my spring break another day. Ciao.

Spring Break

2006-03-03T17:39:00.000-05:00

I am out of school for spring break until the 12th. I am not saying that I will not write while I am here (home!!!!!), but I may not write as often (though, with me this has become a trend).

So, until next time, farewell.

These things are my fourte (ha)

2006-03-01T20:23:00.000-05:00

I've been tagged. Here we go:

Four jobs I've had: (this is funny because I've had no real jobs.. but whatever)
1. lifeguard
2. babysitter
3. student (it's hard work, man!)
4. professional bullshitter

Four Authors, Books, or Series I read over and over:
1. all Harry Potter
2. Chuck Palahniuk
3. The Catcher in the Rye, J. D. Salinger
4. PostSecret: Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Zoolander
2. Amelie
3. Life as a House
4. The Royal Tenenbaums

Four TV shows I love:
1. Family Guy
2. The Simpsons
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Project Runway

Four places I've lived: (mine are not as cool as my sister's, Miss LONDON)
1. Lexington, North Carolina
2. Graham, North Carolina
3. Martinsville, Virginia (NASCAR, woooooo hooo.. oh god)
4. Harrisonburg, Virginia

Four places to vacation: (these are where I would like to vacation if I could afford it)
1. Amsterdam
2. London
3. Italy
4. Smith Mountain Lake (okay, I've actually been here, only 30 minutes away, AND I LOVE IT!!)

Four sites I visit/use daily:
1. Blackboard (yes, online classroom, which I hate with every bone in my body.. I curse the inventor of Blackboard)
2. Radiohead Dot Com-Dead Air Space (RADIOHEAD BLOG! WOOO HOO!)
3. Google (for all of life's important questions)
4. Lots of blogs

Four people IÂd like to meet in person, based on their blogs:
1. Dooce!
2. Hatleyman
3. Boobs
4. Emily and Joey-a softer world

Four foods I yearn for:
1. Mom's mashed potatoes
2. Mom's spaghetti
3. SHERBET! (there is none on campus.. none at all)
4. Twix

Four inventions I'm grateful for:
1. Cameras!!!
2. iPod!!!
3. Swiffer Sweep + Vac (picks up dust AND vacuums.. amazing)
4. Decoupage glue (does that count.. I mean, without it I'm not sure where I'd be...)

Four musical choices for my personal soundtrack: (only four!)
1. Radiohead
2. The Microphones
3. Dave Matthews Band
4. The Doors

Four nouns that describe me:
1. procrastinator
2. listener
3. worrier
4. lover

Annddd, I'm tagging anyone that feels the need to do this, just tell me you've done it!

Army-Psycho Jeff

2006-03-01T02:13:00.000-05:00

This semester, I am taking a very, very boring, high school-like health class which I hate with a fiery, burning passion. For this class I have to go to 5 Wellness Passport events, which basically means I have to go sit through a lecture, movie, discussion... whatever, and get a little stamp on a piece of paper out of a book that cost me 20 something dollars when I'm only going to use the 5 little pages in the back. UGH!

Anyway... I need 3 of these Passport events by tomorrow, and I just completed my second one last night! Woot! Don't worry, I have another one planned for tonight.. but let me tell you, it surely will not be as interesting as the one I attended last night!

The event I went to last night was about the School of the Americas (which has been "shut down" and renamed the Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation). This school has been nicknamed School of the Assassins due to the fact that a very, very, very large number of its graduates have gone on to murder their own people, participate in massacres, etc. There have been many attempts to shut it down; however, our superb government has just renamed it. WTF? You can read about it here. We watched an 18 minute video that talked about the school itself, protests against the school (held every November), and other informational stuff. It was interesting, but not so much as the discussion part of the event.

After the movie was over, Dr. L., an anthropology professor here at JMU, opened up the floor to discussions. Everything was going well until Army-Psycho Jeff stepped in.

(A small aside here... do you guys make up names like that? I know my sister does. Just some kind of name to describe some person that you and your friends constantly see and discuss. For example, Unicycle Guy (bright yellow hair, rides his unicycle all over campus.. I have seen him fall off his unicycle, and let me tell you, its nearly impossible to get on one of those things), Potomac Couch Guy (does not go to school here.. I don't think.. but he sleeps on one of the couches in a dorm), etc.)

Army-Psycho Jeff is part of the U.S. Army, and he so dutifully "took time off" from his "wife and children" to come see the video, inform us on what he thinks about it, and simply raise all hell during this discussion. Now, excuse me if I thought adults were supposed to act like adults, and excuse me if I thought that college students should be allowed to voice their opinions and deserve respect--no matter what these opinions are, and excuse me for thinking that no one/thing/institution is perfect, because according to Army-Psycho Jeff, I am so wrong.

This MAN (that is soooo not the word I want to use) totally disrupted the discussion. He stood up and told the entire group that the video we just watched, and the information we just received on the School of the Americas, was basically bullshit, that it was all lies. Now, I am not saying that he did not have the right to stand up and tell us what he thought, but someone representing the U.S. and its army and the government.. um.. I'm just going to laugh in your face and say that its plain to see that you've lied to us before, so why should we believe you on this? It is greatly apparent that this school's intentions are not honorable. (Just research it a little, and see for yourself.)

Throughout the entire discussion, Army-Psycho Jeff always had something to say. He talked back to students and to the professor in charge. He laughed and rolled his eyes and mocked everyone. He said that the army and the United States had a clean record, to which the entire audience burst into giggles and guffaws and "bullshit!!'s" This did not make Jeff happy, and he started to yell, and he even put down our school!!!

He went on to say that it was HIS history we were bashing (um.. I'm pretty sure we were all American citizens there, and I'm pretty sure it was our history too... but of course, Jeff is always right, therefore I may be wrong..). He said the reason this school exists is to give aid to Latin American countries in need; however, when one student commented that she had been to one of these Latin American countries and saw that it was apparent they were not receiving the aid they needed, Jeff just started yelling again. (think Yosemite Sam)

He kept saying that he would not stand there and let us put him down, or let us put the army down, or the United States (by the way, we are better than anyone else, because Jeff says so) like his father did. Oh okay, so this is why you're here. You hate your daddy, and you don't want to be like him. There is a BIG difference between passionate and just plain batshit crazy.

And Jeff, SIR, you are batshit crazy.

I can't even describe this to y'all. He, a grown man, stood up there and acted like a baby. He showed most everyone there great disrespect. At one point, he told us to stop learning for one second, and to think, to use our minds and not regurgitate everything we had be taught. Excuse me? If you could've heard this guy, you would've laughed your ass off because it was quite clear that he was "regurgitating" all of his information. I would not be surprised if this man was not brainwashed. No shit, I'm being serious.

Anyway, it was a very entertaining night. And if I ever see Psycho-Army Jeff on campus, I will dutifully salute him, with my middle finger. Both of them perhaps.

Things that make me laugh

2006-02-26T22:10:00.000-05:00

For those of you who don't know, there is a website where you can make your own South Park characters. Before you go and have hours and hours of fun, let me warn you: it is extremely addictive, and you will find yourself making South Park characters instead of the normal things you should be doing, i.e. sleeping, bathing, communicating with other humans, etc.

My sister is a good example of this. You can read her addiction story here, and you can see my sis here and our whole family here. Those made me laugh so hard.. they really look like us!!

Now, enjoy, but in moderation!

I am laughing my ass off as I type this

2006-02-21T03:01:00.000-05:00

OH! MY! GOD! I just saw the funniest commercial ever.

This guy falls down a crevice in the ice while he's.. I dunno what he was doing because I missed that part.. probably exploring or whatever. But he falls down this crevice, and he gets out his phone, calls his friend, and tells him what has happened. All of a sudden a bunch of really old people in windbreakers and icy clothes come out, and one of the old men says, "Is that a sandwich?" And the guy says, "It's my phone!" And the old man says, "It's not a sandwich!!" and all the old people leave.

Okay.. now that I write it out, it doesn't sound that funny... But it was on MTV, soooo watch for it if you can watch MTV without your brain exploding.. I know I can only take it in very, very small doses. Trust me.. the commercial was HILARIOUS.

Secretive

2006-02-21T01:22:00.000-05:00

I hope you guys have noticed the links along the right side of my blog, and I hope that you have visited at least some of them. I think everyone should visit PostSecret weekly. I do, and each time I am so inspired.. and I cry a little inside for those who seem to be empty of hope, of those who are hurting and lonely, and I am so touched by those who have conquered the impossible, of those who are truly loved and are truly happy, and I rejoice whenever I read a postcard covered with a secret that I have, too.

Just now, I have made 5 postcards (I have a lot of secrets), and I am going to send one each week until I have sent them all. I really hope that my secrets make it, at least one of the five!! If they make it, I'll let you know, and you can guess which is mine! Wish me luck!

Fraggle Hall (I am young, but I have seen enough to write this post..) has been edited!

2006-02-19T18:11:00.000-05:00

It can't be just coincidence that my dorm name starts with an F; however, I think it should be renamed "Fraggle Hall." Why you ask? Becausese my suitemates never take out their trash. Instead, they leave it in a big pile in our common room, the room I have to walk through, and smell, to get to my room.

This pile of trash has been here for a couple of weeks, and as you can see, some has separated itself from the entire whole and is attempting to escape through the door. I am pretty sure that it is very, very close to uttering its first word, hopefully a four-letter one directed to the girls in the room next to me. They have treated it so unfairly.. leaving it above grounds and in the sunlight, with no little furry (and I am pretty sure doped-up) creatures to advise.

It would do this Trash Heap some justice and take it down to the dumpster, where it can then go where all trash goes (down to Fraggle Rock, duh!), but I don't want my suitemates to think I'm their bitch or anything. No way. They will get no acts of kindness out of me unless they SMILE every once in a while! Besides, it stinks, oh god I want to throw up every time I walk into the room IT STINKS FOR GOD'S SAKE! TAKE THE TRASH OUT, YOU NASTY, NASTY, NASTY GIRLS!!!

I just got a great idea. I'm going to print off a picture of the Trash Heap and put it on my door. I will keep you posted.

EDIT: Here is the "flyer" I made, which is now taped to the outside of my room's door. Maybe my suitemates will get the hint. Let's see!! STAY TUNED!!!

Things that make me laugh and feel warm inside

2006-02-18T22:48:00.000-05:00

Before I tell you what has made me laugh and feel all warm inside today, I'd like to apologize. I have been a very, very bad blogger, and I have abandoned my readers. I haven't written in my blog, nor have I read my favorite blogs in a WHILE! I'm sorry; I really have no excuses, and I will try harder.

Okay, that said, these are the things that made me laugh and feel warm inside:

1. The card I got from my older sis, Charity, in the mail today. On the inside she wrote, among other things, "I thought this card was cute. The Little Baby Kangaroo comes out so you can play with it." (That part made me laugh!) If you know my sister, you know that she probably really played with it before she sent it to me. If you pull the "Little Baby Kangaroo" out, you can see that it says "Snuggle" on its tummy! At the bottom of the card, she wrote, "Thank you for being the best sister I could ever have." (and that was the part that made me feel warm inside!) Thank you, Charity!! (I have the best sisters! Be jealous)

2. The four large college boys (manly, manly boys) who were singing, "Skinna-ma-rinky dinky dink, skinna-ma-rinky doo, skinna-ma-rinky dinky dink, I love you!" That made me laugh uncontrollably, and I'm sure they knew I was laughing at them. But can you imagine?? It made me feel all warm inside, though, because when I was little, someone (I know my family sang it, but someone else.. who, Heather?) sang it to me, and it just reminded me of my childhood.

So there you have it. I'll try to begin writing on a regular basis again! I know you can't wait!

All you need is love

2006-02-14T21:53:00.000-05:00

I've been M.I.A. for 10 days, and I apologize. I've been busy going to class, writing papers, reading books, taking shitty math quizzes that I hate so much I really really really hate math, and fighting off the million guys that want me to be their Valentine. Okay.. so maybe not that, but whatever..

Valentine's Day doesn't bother me at all. What bothers me are the stupid girls that get so freakin depressed because they are single, or because that boyfriend that cheated on them didn't call, or because... well because they're stupid!! Geeeez, get over yourself already (unless you have a really good reason to be depressed today.) Today is just a day, just like yesterday. Besides, all you need is love.. from anyone really (okay, maybe not the sketchy chick on "the corner" or that really sleazy guy that grabs your ass and says obscene things every time you pass by..)! If you have friends and family to love, who needs a boy (notice I said boy, not man.. there are no men here).

So.. to my family, as with everything.. I am late and I have procrastinated. Your V-Day things will be in the mail tomorrow, Thursday by the latest! I love y'all!

Watch this movie!!

2006-02-04T04:39:00.000-05:00

I just finished watching the movie Grizzly Man. If you don't know already, Grizzly Man is a documentary of Timothy Treadwell, an "environmentalist and bear enthusiast" who, for 13 summers, lived among the grizzly bears in Alaska. In 2003, on what would be his last expedition, he and his girlfriend Amy Huguenard, were killed and eaten by a bear.

If you have any soul at all, once you watch this movie, your heart will go out to this man; this man with a child's soul and the most devoted love one being could ever possess for any other being. He is so amazingly brave.. and maybe a little crazy, but I have deep respect for what he did. For a good part of his life, he lived alone, in Alaska, "protecting" the bears. He thought it was his duty to look after these bears and keep them safe from people who might want to harm them.

The movie is actually kinda sad because you see this man and you see his spirit and the passion that he has for these animals, and you know what's going to happen to him in the end. The thing he loves most is going to take his life. (Yes it was a FREAKING BEAR! and some may say that he was batshit crazy and he got what was coming to him, but if you watch the movie, you'll see that he interacted with these bears. He had a connection with the bears. They were his friends, his loves.. Besides, the bear that killed him was one that he hated anyway; one that he tried for 5 years to make his friend, but never did.)

The movie does have some really funny parts. He scolds a fly for bothering a dead baby fox, cusses out a fox for stealing his hat, yells at God (calling him "Jesus Boy!") for more rain because the rain falling is "CRAPPY!!".. and.. well, I mean, at times he just seems plain silly! Seriously.. he wanted to be a bear. Some of his antics and his monologues (just imagine a little boy playing in the woods.... and there you go, Timmy Treadwell) are just hilarious.

And the footage is amazing. He is so close! He touches them and swims with them and tells them he loves them, scolds them and shoos them away when they snap at him. He has some kind of weird, freaky relationship with these bears (and foxes, which are so damn cute!!). He names them, talks to them, practically gives his life for them, and he truly, truly loves them with all his heart.

There's so much more I could write about this movie, but there are no words that would justify it's beauty.. so just go watch it, and see for yourself (It's on February 4th at 8 PM on the Discovery Channel! If you don't have anything better to do, watch it! Really, it's amazing!).

You can look at the website for Timothy's organization, Grizzly People, here.

Taking words from when I had them..

2006-02-03T21:44:00.000-05:00

I have been at a loss for words for a long time now. I really don't have anything to write about, and I don't want ignore my blog, so I am posting a poem I wrote in October. Enjoy.

smoke rings
and smoke spirals
from the candle on your desk
interlocked fingers
and nice things
nice phrases
and words and looks and feelings
and kisses on foreheads
and soft touches on cheeks
and rubbing feet
along our twisted legs
desire
and fire
and begging eyes

you're everything I want
everything he's not
you're someone I could love

..so why can't I let myself
let go?

Things that make me laugh

2006-01-30T22:29:00.000-05:00

I'm still reading Crime and Punishment, so tonight, I'm leaving you all with a joke Mike Penn* told me last night. (Just know I am a sucker for corny jokes.)

MP: Did you hear about the Tickle Me Elmos?
Me: No... what about them?
MP: Before they left the assembly lines, they were given two test-tickles.
Me: laughing uncontrollably because I think it's the funniest thing ever
MP: Oh my god, you're an idiot.

*For those of you who don't know, Mike Penn is the very sweet, hilarious, goofy blonde giant seen here, who happens to be my best friend. (I feel that because I talk about him, you guys should at least get a feeling of who he is. And here is is, in all his glory.)

Okay, now that I've chosen this picture, it also makes me laugh. Seriously, how can you not laugh at that??

Birthday Bottles

2006-01-29T18:14:00.000-05:00

Just a little photography today because I have to finish reading Crime and Punishment by Tuesday, and I am a section behind. (Only 210 more pages to go! Wooo hooo!!) Enjoy!

My best friend's roommate turned 20 last night, and these were the end results (only there were a lot more bottles and.. a bunch of other stuff):

B(itch)est Friend

2006-01-28T22:00:00.000-05:00

Before I start unloading, let me just say that I love people. Really, I do. I try to get along with everyone. I'm a lover, not a fighter! But there are some people who I would just really love to give a good, hard kick in the face.

Now that you know that, let me continue.

I just got back from a trip to Wal-Mart with a friend (I'm kind of pushing it with that word because aren't you supposed to like your friends? This girl makes friend a four-letter word.) who tells everyone that we are best friends. Yeah right, then my definition of best friend would be someone who I am constantly wishing illness and bad omens upon and who I probably wouldn't pee on if she were on fire. (Okay.. sometimes she's okay... but 90% of the time, she is NOT!) Besides, I already have best friends--my sisters, my mom, and the lovely Mike Penn. And because she is not related to me, nor does she possess a penis, she is not my best friend (well those things, and the fact that she is just an evil little creature..)

Anyway, I went for groceries and she went for goggles, a Spanish-English dictionary, and some of the most hideous shoes I have ever seen in my entire life. You know those shoes you wore when you were a little kid.. the one's that maybe had Spiderman or the Care Bears on them and every time you took a motherf*ing step (censored for you, mommy dearest) the damn things lit up?? Yeah.. she bought some of those, except they are high heels and clear BUT THEY STILL LIGHT UP! Don't you worry your sweet little heads, the god-awful things still light up!! (I should have slapped her right then and there.) She looked at the price tag and said, "Ugh! $20 dollars; A. better pay me back!"

Excuse me? Did I hear you right? The guy that you are "dating" (yes, that's what we call it these days) is buying those for you??? Oh my god she is using this poor guy, leading him on, breaking his heart, and making him buy her light up high heels? Oh god, what has the world come to?? When she said that I wished halitosis on her for all eternity. (I do not like when people use others.. that's just wrong, man!)

Okay, so I continue getting my stuff, and we pay and all that jazz (while she was away looking for something and I was in line, I had to call my mom and tell her what a bitch she was. Really, I just needed to unload on someone!). I brought my bookbag with me so that I could put all of my groceries in it and be able to carry my water. As I was scrambling to fit everything into my bookbag, carry some bags, and get the water at the same time, she just walks out of Wal-Mart. (Okay, bitch, you're pushing it!) I kindly (really, I said please) asked her to pick up the water as I took the cart back to the 862-year-old skeleton greeting customers and taking buggies. She then looked at me as if her insides were being eaten away, gave a little sigh, (oh. my. god. I should have jumped on her right then and started swinging, spitting, cursing, whatever...), and came back to the buggy. She then grabbed the edge of the plastic with one hand (I'm thinking, "Please, please, please, oh God help me, please do not do that!), and pulled with all her might. Yes, you all know what happened here. The plastic ripped, and now I'm going to have to carry all of this back to my dorm all by my wee little self. (Pause here and just think of all of the obscenities I shouted at her in my head.) I then sighed the biggest sigh you could ever imagine, and said, "Oh fuck." AND SHE TURNED AROUND AND TOOK A STEP AWAY. SHE DIDN'T EVEN APOLOGIZE!!!

Oooohhh, holy hell, I am pissed. I hope she burns her face when she straightens her hair, and I hope that she gets some kind of flesh-eating disease from all that gross make-up she wears, and I hope that her little boy-toys forget about her and come to me (not that I would want any guy she's ever been attracted to or.. whatever...... but just because I want to piss her off, oh my god I want to make her feel like she makes me feel ooh I want to kick her in her pretty little face!!!).

Other than that, I've had a wonderful day. How about you?

Things that make me laugh

2006-01-25T14:20:00.000-05:00

1. The looks on every guy's face in my health class + the moaning and groaning when we talked about mammograms (boob smooshing, "Don't go anywhere!!" "I can't; I'm trapped here!") and pap smears ("hands and fingers going into places"). It was quite amusing and the only thing I enjoyed about class today.

2. The new posters in my dorm:

Wow.. If you do not find that the least bit humorous, then you have serious issues, and you are dead to me.

Um.. screw my p's and q's

2006-01-24T22:35:00.000-05:00

Okay.. remember how I told you that my math class was really easy and that it could be taught to 4th graders??

Yeah.. right, well I was dead wrong. The first day of actual class we learned about logic and truth tables and stuff. You know, with p and q and p implies q and p or not q blah blah blah I must be a complete dumbass because I am totally and utterly lost!!!

I did miss a day due to the fact that I was locked out of my room for an hour and a half, and I would like to say now that that is the reason I don't get it (but I'm sure you all know that I'm lying.. because math is partly the reason I am a freaking English major!) I loathe math. With a fiery, burning passion I. CAN. NOT. STAND. MATH. IT. IS. THE. WORK. OF. THE. DEVIL.

Anyway, as much as I hate my math class, I do like my teacher. I think she is clinically insane. She will just ramble about something and stare dumbly at the class, and it's just way too funny for me to handle. And she changed her middle name to Theta. (Crazy, but cute.... wait, no, I hate math.. not cute!)

Yoga booty!

2006-01-20T05:15:00.000-05:00

Oh. My. God. I just saw a preview for "Yoga Booty Ballet." (Check it out here and here.) And if you haven't seen it, I hope to God that you do. It's amazing.. and funny as hell. In the commercial, one of the chicks says, "Yeahhh, I've got booty now!" Holy hell.

Now, I don't do yoga, but my oldest sister does, and this is not yoga. It is insulting to yoga, and not because it's not far from a dance routine one would see at a strip club or a Britney Spears concert, but because it has "skankified" yoga. (I know it's not a word; bite me.) Walk into a college frat party and scope out some drunk chicks and you would get "Yoga Booty Ballet." To me, and I don't even do it, yoga is something that is spiritual, something that you do to calm and center yourself. This is just pure nonsense.

But it is damn funny.

Again!

2006-01-19T23:35:00.000-05:00

I locked myself out of my room this morning.. in a towel (I don't know why, but I always seem to lock myself out whenever I am in a towel.. woo hoo!).. for the second time.. for one and a half hours!!!

The good thing about locking yourself out of your room in a towel is that you don't have to run around looking for an R.A... someone else gets to do that!!! (Because why am I going to run around my dorm in a towel?) That someone was my suitemate, and for an hour and a half, she searched, and we waited for an R.A. to show up... because the bad thing about locking yourself out of your room (in a towel, or not) is that the R.A.s are NEVER here. (Unless you have incense and they can detect incense from miles and miles away and will be in your room in about 2.5 nanoseconds.)

Seriously.. what do you guys do all day?? I already know that you guys snoop around in our rooms.. is that all you do? Do you do anything productive? Every time someone needs an R.A., no one is around.

I'm just complaining and and this post is going nowhere... but I did get to skip my first class today because I was locked out of my room. Yayyyyy!

Come again?

2006-01-17T21:33:00.000-05:00

I will be charged $25 if I don't get rid of my incense. Yeah, twenty-five dollars. I'm in college, pals, I have about $3 to my name..

I really don't know what to say about that.. except how are they going to know? And what do you think they'd do if they found my LSD??

...besides that, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?? $25 because I have incense? No. Way. I am quite baffled by this. You can't burn down a room with incense.. technically, it's not even burning.. it's just smoking. And I even have a safe way to "burn" it!!

You know what, screw you guys. I'm keeping it, and I'll burn it, and there is nothing you can do about it.. because now I know that you guys are snooping around in my room, and I have great hiding places (yeah, you obviously don't know about these.. ha). So take that.

Irritated

2006-01-16T18:03:00.000-05:00

I don't know why, maybe because we had today off and tons of people have visited this weekend, but there have been an ungodly amount of guys on our hall this weekend. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't mind if guys are here. As a matter of fact, two of my guy friends came up this weekend, and they stayed in my room.

Here is what bothers me:

Our bathroom stalls are very, very short. Why? I have no idea. Maybe because we have the crappy dorms, and we just don't matter. The nice dorms, across the highway, have the best bathrooms, with TALL stalls and HUGE showers (I mean, you can actually move around in these things.. hell.. you could have a small get-together in these showers).

These small stalls bother me because this weekend, every time I went into the bathroom, there was always some guy looking over the stall. Seriously, chill out. I'm only peeing, and there can't be anything even remotely appealing about a chick on a toilet peeing. Maybe there is, but I don't get it. And also, what is up with guys peeing ALL OVER THE FREAKING PLACE?! You still can't get it in the toilet?? C'mon, this is a skill you should have mastered at the age of 2. There is pee on the toilet, on the wall, on the floor, on the door (ew), and I wouldn't be surprised if there were pee on the ceiling. You guys are sick.

Aaaand.. I want to go home. I miss my mom and my sisters and I need a good home-cooked meal. And I just don't want to do my homework.. but whatever.

While I was gone.. (complete with many, many pictures)

2006-01-13T00:36:00.000-05:00

I'm sure you are all dying to know what I was up to while I was away. I'll have you know that my Christmas break was very eventful, and so I'm sure you understand why I did not have any time to write. (I'm full of it.. I had so much free time. But anyways...)

This Christmas I met the spawn of Satan herself. See this little doggy here:

Isn't she so cute? NO! No, she is NOT cute. She is an evil, evil little creature. She bit my oldest sister, through her pants, and left TEETH MARKS! She broke the skin! I still thought she was cute, and we were cool until she bit me after I fed her some turkey. That was the end of it. I hate that little dog. Bitch (that is a correct term in so many ways).

This Christmas was the first time my older sister and I were allowed to drink. WOW! It really is amazing, and while I am proud to say that I held my liquor very well, my older sister did not. My cousin was a pusher, and made us all take a number of shots with her, plus she made sure our drinks.. uh tasted really nice. My sister took a couple of shots and had some mixed drinks, and by the time we were on our way to our very Southern Baptist grandparents' house to have Christmas with our dad, she was wasted. It was very horrible, but it was also very, very entertaining (sorry, Mom.. but it was.) I mean, can you imagine what everyone in that house would've done if they had known we had been drinking? Wow.. it's scary. But how could they not have known? Just look at my sister on the way to our grandparents' house:

Luckily.. she can play it off....

A couple of days before Christmas, my oldest sister (not the drunk) and I made magnets for Christmas presents! Because handmade presents are oh so much cooler (especially when you have no money. And if you don't like them, you can bite me.) I bet you're thinking, "WOOO HOOO! MAGNETS! HELL YEAH! THAT'S A GREAT TIME THERE!" But really, it was. You have no idea how rewarding it is. And squishing all of the glue out is so much fun. I'm not kidding. (But then again, I am very easily amused!)

These are all the magnets we made (well.. not all, because after we finished, we needed another fix. Really, it's addicting. So we made tinier ones and more big ones.)

This is just an artsy picture; we both took many of these.
And these are some of my favorite ones.
And this is what I did with them. You can't really see, but the tiny ones are bordering my light switch. My mom gave me the idea to put then on the pole on the wall. What a good idea.

A couple of days after Christmas, we got tattoos. Now that is fun. My sister got 4 symbols on the side of her foot, and I got a LIZARD KING for JIM MORRISON. It is not a Geico gecko, alright? If I hear one more person say I got a gecko, I will go completely insane and start chopping people up into tiny pieces (not really, but seriously, the lizard king is badass, a gecko.. well it's not.)

My sister paid for her tattoo with money our aunt gave her, and I paid for mine with money my dad gave me, both our aunt and my dad would probably freak out and start having convulsions if they knew what we really bought with their money.

This is me.

And this is my lovely sister.

And this is my tattoo. I think Tattoo Ryan (I stole that from my sis) did an excellent job. He drew that little LIZARD KING in about five minutes. (And speaking of easily amused, get a tattoo of a lizard and wait til it peels. Very entertaining.)

So, as you can see, I had a lot of fun while I was home. I hope you had a good Christmas, too.

I'm in big trouble. Yep.

2006-01-11T00:43:00.000-05:00

I got back to my room last night, and one of the RAs left me a message on my board saying I needed to fill out a form and that she would be on duty from 8-12 pm.

So, I just went down there (I guess it could go without saying that J. was gone by the time I got home..) and all I had to do was sign a paper. For what, you ask?

THEY FOUND INCENSE IN MY ROOM!! (Which poses the question... were there people snooping around in my room during winter break? That's kinda freaky.) God forbid someone have incense in her room! I wonder what they are going to do to me? Cut off all my fingers so I can't light it.. or stick me in a closet and leave me there for a couple or weeks.. or hang me by my toenails as they all spit at me and shout obscenities in my direction (all of which are perfect punishments for incense burners such as me).

Seriously, do you people have nothing better to do than sit around and do stupid stuff like this? I know some people that have WAAAAYYYYY worse things than incense in their rooms, so get off me.

Why Knot?!

2006-01-10T16:23:00.000-05:00

That's the name of my math book.

It has a picture of a super hero robot on it.

And it is also about 1 mm thick.

Aren't you jealous?

Well, you should be because it also comes with a toy.

I am a freshman in college, and my math class could be taught to 4th graders.

Isn't life as an English major sweet?

Long time no see

2006-01-06T16:40:00.000-05:00

Well... I am not dead. And I haven't fallen off the face of the earth or any such thing as that. I have just been.. uh.. very busy. Plus, the computer at home SUCKS, and every time I try to do something on it, I practically have a nervous breakdown, I get very angry, and I scare little children.. and little dogs. I. Hate. This. Computer.

So... that is my excuse for not writing in such a long time. I am going back to school on Sunday, so I will either post then, or Monday. I know you are all looking forward to it.

Until then...

Ciao.

Wow

2005-12-16T05:12:00.000-05:00

I just read this book in less than 2 hours. Although there have been several times where I have read a book in one day, this is the first book I have ever read in one sitting. (And I think I might read it again.) I should be sleeping because I have an 8 a.m. final in the morning... but it is so good. It makes you think. Read it.

The sock, an R.A., a mental institution, and capital punishment

2005-12-15T23:06:00.000-05:00

Wow. These past two days have been very eventful, and I haven't done much of anything at all (except take two exams.. yeah and they were definitely a lot of something..).

Anyways..

You know that sock you always lose in the dryer? The one whose match sits in your drawer, lonely and unworn for weeks and weeks before you decide to throw it away? Yeah? Well I found it! ...except it's about 4 sizes too big, and it doesn't match any of the socks in my drawer... It just showed up in my laundry, and I have no idea how it got there! And it wasn't in the dryer before I put my clothes in because I always look for stuff like that! Strange things are afoot... (haha.. just reading this over, that pun wasn't intended.. wow, I'm good)

--------

I had to take my anthropology exam today.. I was hoping it was going to be cancelled, but, obviously, it wasn't. I woke up at 7:30 a.m. and walked 20 minutes in an ICE STORM. Okay, so maybe it wasn't a storm per say.. but it was enough to piss me off and curse the JMU bus system for not having a bus that early. Seriously, if the bus routes aren't working at 8 a.m then I shouldn't have to either.

Anyway, I got back to my dorm around 9:30 (I waited for a ride rather than walk 20 more minutes on the now slippery sidewalks), and I got straight into bed. My roommate isn't coming back next semester, so she was in the process of moving all of her stuff out. I fell asleep to the wonderful sounds of the food channel. I woke up to the strange sounds of a curly haired guy that seemed to be talking to himself. Yep. Talking. To. Himself. (I was half asleep.. you know the kind, where you know you are sleeping but you are kind of awake, too..) The first thoughts that popped into my head was, "Whoa... who is that? Why is he shuffling papers? Why is he talking to himself? Oh my god, how did he get into my room? Is he talking to the desk? I'm glad I didn't strip down to just my underwear.. Oh my god, was I snoring? Wait, who cares, WHO IS THIS GUY AND WHY IS HE TALKING TO HIMSELF?!?!" So naturally, I rolled over and went back to sleep.

The next time I woke up... well.. I felt like an idiot. The weirdo talking to himself was my R.A.. and he wasn't really talking to himself, he was talking to my roommate, who wasn't saying anything!!! (Just so you don't think I'm crazy.. his was the only voice I heard!!!) When I finally came to my senses, I sat up in bed and said, "OH! MY! GOD!" Everything was gone. The tv was gone! (I'm missing The Daily Show and The Colbert Report tonight!!!) Her side of the room looks just like a mental institution.. it's all white and bare.. its creepy.

So now I don't have a roommate. And it better stay that way so I can have wild, drug induced parties with hookers and pimps and all kinds of fun things. Yep.

--------

I was having dinner with my best friend, Davey Poo (ha I bet he hates that), and we started talking about my ex-boyfriend. I told him that I was still pissed off because he treated me like.. well, shit... and he is too immature to actually talk to me about it. David told me that there was no use in being depressed or worrying about it because there was no real reason for the break-up.. we just broke up and that was it..

blah blah blah, David, I see your mouth moving but I can't hear what you're saying.. No really, I know there is a reason, even if it's simply because he wants to be with other girls, he's just too chicken to tell me. But I nodded my head like a good friend, and told Dave that I knew it was pointless, that I didn't want ex-boyfriend back because he's really not worth it now, and that I just wanted closure. Dave's reply? "Megan, do you know how anybody ever gets closure?? Capital punishment."

I got up, told Dave he was a.. well I don't think my mom would approve.. and went to get ice cream.

Annoyed!

2005-12-14T23:14:00.000-05:00

The things people say these days annoy me.. For example, the word crunk. Just go ahead and tell people that you are going to get as drunk as humanly possible, and maybe you will appear a little less ridiculous. Seriously, unless you have a mouth full of platinum and a diamond the size of my head hanging from your neck, don't ever say the word crunk around me.

Let's move on to holla. I thought that disappeared a WHILE ago. No? Well it should have. (Oh, and saying.. no, no.. screaming it THREE TIMES IN A ROW does not make you look more intelligent. Once is more than enough.)

Next, chillaxin'. What the hell? Chillin' is fine. What is the -axin part? Seriously, it's annoying and you sound like a moron. Just stop. End of story.

Okay, there are more, but crunk has gotten under my skin, and now I can't even think of the rest. Sorry. I will add them, as I am sure I will remember them, and they will annoy the hell out of me sooner or later.

Things that make me cry (because I'm laughing so hard)

2005-12-14T22:48:00.000-05:00

This man right here. I've been going back and reading his blog like I did with Boobs.. He's very funny. And he's very blunt. I like that.

Ohh yeahh... that...

2005-12-12T17:39:00.000-05:00

Heather, I know you are the only one that will do this.. but whatever.. here you go.

(Oh.. and I wish I had a teacher/professor as cool as you!)

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL MEMORY OF YOU AND ME. It can be anything you want--good or bad--BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you.

Things I am looking forward to over Christmas Break

2005-12-11T16:14:00.000-05:00

1. being able to wipe with something other than sandpaper (well.. that's what it feels like)

2. eating something, ANYTHING, other than handi-snacks, granola bars, and cheeseburgers

3. drinking water that doesn't come from the bathroom sink (...um, yeah.. it tastes really weird...)

4. not having to wear my glasses to see the tv

5. NOT HAVING TO SELL MY SOUL TO THE DEVIL TO PAY FOR LAUNDRY

6. being as far away from those jackass suitemates as I can possibly get

7. Christmas!

8. seeing my mom and sisters, and all those crazy m'ville boys that I love

9. being able to drive myself ANYWHERE... hell, up and down the driveway a couple of times would be fine with me

10. finals will be over, duh

11. MI EFFING RANCHITO (best Mexican food on the face of the earth.. yes, even mexico.. although I've never been there)

12. being able to move around in the shower

13. not having to wear shoes in the shower (I don't know how many times I have almost fallen due to the fact that my sandals get so freaking slippery... seriously, I'm waiting for that god awful day when I FINALLY fall and hit my head, pass out, and wake up 5 hours later, talking to the soap and my razor, with a ridiculously hot EMT standing over me.. oh how embarrassing)

14. did I mention the food.. yep, still looking forward to that

15. playing Scategories and whatnot with my family (WE BETTER DO THIS, OR I WILL.. I don't know what I'll do, but it won't be good)

16. falling alseep on the couch with the tv still on

17. being able to sleep in a bed where I can comfortably stretch my legs

18. not having to listen to the Russian Elephant gymnastic team in the room above me practice its somersaults and tumbles at 3:30 IN THE MORNING!! and if they aren't practicing their moves, they are throwing around their furniture.. crazy elephants

19. no more weird, sleazy guys at parties

20. not waking up to a freaking sauna in my room, with my sweatpants stuck to my body and my shirt wet.. ew gross.... because my house is FREEZING COLD.. woo hoo

21. did I mention the food? well let me do it again... I am SO looking forward to the food.

annnnd now.. it's 1:11 p.m... not whatever time it says it was. I still don't see that little thingy that lets you change the time. WHY, OH WHY?! coughlaptopcough

EDIT: heh... me again. It's 1:14, and I just read my sister's comment from yesterday! I FOUND IT!! WOO HOOO!!

Things that make me cry (because I'm laughing so hard)

2005-12-10T16:14:00.000-05:00

I have been chillin' out in my bed reading Boobs, Injuries, and Dr. Pepper ALL. DAY. LONG! (I know; I am lazy and worthless. And yes, I have taken a shower AND brushed my teeth.. in case you are wondering. And I still need that laptop.. I almost knocked the printer off my desk.. heh heh.. oops. Which reminds me.. I dropped my keyboard and the shift key fell off... I fixed it though.. as you can see. Anyways.. I digress. I haven't had any human contact today.. I'm sure it shows. AHHHH DIGRESSION! AH.. okay, back to the original post... Wow that's a long parenthesis.. okay, sorry back....) I started at January, and I will not finish until I reach the end. This girl is hilarious. I've seriously been laughing out loud, tears running down my face, all day. I can't get enough. READ IT. ALL OF IT!

EDIT: Okay.. It's 6:30, not 3:something.... The little thingy that lets you change the time has been missing for over a week now. What is up with that? I don't know how to fix it.. I hate computers (NOT LAPTOPS THOUGH!!)

I need serious help.

Want to see what I did in psychology today?

2005-12-08T18:12:00.000-05:00

...I wasted a lot of ink!

I did take some notes... see? At the top and at the bottom.. those are notes. I mean, it was the last psychology class I will EVER take, so I don't feel too bad. I took notes the entire semester. Plus.. all we did was review, AND the PowerPoint is online!

..besides, that looks really cool close up.

Laptop, please?

2005-12-06T15:53:00.000-05:00

At this very moment, as I sit here typing this.. I am lounging in my bed. Yes, my bed. You may say, "Oh, I do that all the time!" But no, you probably don't. You probably have a laptop, and I.. well I don't. I have a desktop computer.

I am just so lazy.. or innovative, whichever you prefer...

I can't sit at my desk for long periods of time. My back starts to hurt (because I have the worst posture ever) and so does my butt (I still need a seat cushion for my chair!!), and my feet have nowhere to go (yes I know "under the desk!!" but that's not comfy either. I need something to prop my feet on.. or something soft to put them on.. or just SOMETHING!).

If you could see me now, you would probably laugh your ass off.. and then buy me a laptop out of pity. (fingers crossed) I am probably going to kick my monitor (which is placed oh so carefully at the edge of my desk.. yikes!) and send it crashing down to the floor.. or pull my keyboard a little too hard and smash my printer into a million pieces... but boy am I comfortable.

This is why I need a laptop... to prevent the destruction of my computer. Also, I love to write, and what better way to further my creativity than to write in the mountains, surrounded by a beautiful kaleidoscope of trees and all that good stuff! PLUS! If I had a laptop, I could escape this tiny, tiny cell of a room and work someplace less... um.. what's the word... prison-like? Okay, confining.. And I might even start my papers earlier (instead of the day before.. my excuse is that the procrastination is genetic and I cannot escape it.)

Therefore.. because I have already asked for my Christmas presents (BIRKENSTOCKS, WOO HOO!!! and a Hippie book, even cooler!), I will just say this... my birthday is 265 days away...

I can understand a pet rock.. but THIS?

2005-12-05T15:04:00.000-05:00

Okay.. so they put up new posters around the courtyard of my dorm while I was at class this morning...

I come back and the first thing I see is a HUGE, smiling, pink condom (very much like the one above). The posters advertise a sexual assault prevention meeting, where you go and they talk to you about rape and all that kind of stuff. The posters say, and I swear I am not making this up, "Come learn about sexual assault prevention and make a condom pet!"

Hmm.. Did I read that right.. a CONDOM PET?! Yes. Condom. Pet. Seriously, you are trying to get college students to attend a meeting on sexual assault prevention, and your plan to get us there is by telling us that we will be able to make a CONDOM PET if we just show up?! COME ON! All of us combined have probably already made condom pets and condom hats and condom balloon animals.. we have probably made more things out of condoms than you can possibly imagine. How about you offer us food! We are college students; we never pass up free food. I would definitely go for free food.

Maybe I will go, and I will make a condom pet and take pictures just so you can see...

...but probably not. So don't count on it. If you want to see a condom pet that bad, go make one yourself.

thank you

2005-12-02T15:16:00.000-05:00

your curly hair is gone
and with it your sweetness
your ability to communicate
(and my respect for you)
your couth
your sensible ways
(and my tears for you)
your thoughtfulness
your gentleness
(and my pain for losing you)

thank you
for helping
me
get over
you

(and it had nothing to do with hair)

november 30, 2:30 a.m.

2005-12-01T22:50:00.000-05:00

you wanted me to calm you;
in return, you made me panic.
holding my hand,
kissing my forehead,
tearing my heartstrings.
i looked out your window.
if i closed my eyes,
i was looking in at you
from the outside,
where i wanted to be
instead of being trapped,
trapped in your stare,
and in your grip,
and in your room.
you think you're in love with me.
no, no, no, no, no!
i'm thinking, please take that back!
the silence was too loud.
i tell you now:
you don't love me;
you don't want to love me.
why? why, why, why?
because i am in love with a ghost,
and he will haunt you,
and he will terrorize you
as much as he does me.
can you calm me now,
or do you feel the panic, too?

Don't worry about me. I am happy.

Things that make me cry (because I'm laughing so hard)

2005-12-01T20:06:00.000-05:00

The Toys 'R Us commercial, where two employees are unloading boxes.:

Guy employee: shakes box Furby! shakes box Furby! shakes box Furby!

Girl employee: They're all Furbies

Announcer: No one understands what it's like to be a kid like Toys 'R Us!
(or something along those lines.. I have a bad memory)

Guy employee: shakes box Furby!

Sense-ual

2005-11-30T14:49:00.000-05:00

I got this idea from my mom, and because I can never think of things to write, and because my mom doesn't have a blog and isn't going to do this herself... I will steal her idea.

5 things you like to smell:
1. fresh coffee being made
2. laundry right out of the dryer
3. cake!!
4. burning leaves (I know it's bad for the environment; I'm being honest here)
5. puppy breath

5 things you like to taste:
1. beer on someone else's lips
2. my mom's mashed potatoes
3. white chocolate
4. tears (only happy ones)
5. my lips after I put on Burt's Bees Chapstick

5 things you like to feel:
1. the warmth from a fire
2. hot laundry from the dryer
3. someone's arms around me
4. my fingers sinking into a barrel of beans
5. loved

5 things you like to hear:
1. laughter
2. music
3. wind chimes
4. the clock at school, chiming every hour
5. thunder

5 things you like to see:
1. hail hitting the ground
2. leaves swept away by the wind
3. people in love
4. fireflies
5. smoke spirals

5 things you don't like to smell:
1. burning popcorn
2. cigarette smoke on clothes
3. New York City
4. spit
5. fish

5 things you don't like to taste:
1. blood (being a vampire it's something I have to get used to.. jk)
2. burnt anything
3. licorice
4. cough medicine
5. that fluoride crap dentists use to clean my teeth

5 things you don't like to feel:
1. HOT!
2. unwanted (or unwelcome)
3. inferior (because of my age or because I am a girl... or because you suck)
4. the way my knees feel when it gets cold.. or when it rains.. or when I walk up too many steps.. or when I run.. okay, just the way my knees feel
5. wet fingers in my ears.. gross

5 things you don't like to hear:
1. yelling
2. the fire alarm at school (plus the door alarms)
3. the sound of a car crash
4. the sound of people cleaning their teeth out with their tongue (by sucking in) If you are in my family, you understand this. USE FLOSS!
5. someone eating with his/her mouth open

5 things you don't like to see:
1. images of the war on TV
2. people arguing
3. conformity
4. BLOOD
5. anyone crying

People you want to do this:
1. Heather.. you're the only one I know reads this.
2. Mom and Charity-get blogs, do this
3. Anyone else.. just let me know you've done it!

S.O.S.

2005-11-29T17:05:00.000-05:00

If you have my address, please send non-perishable foods.

I'm starving, and I just turned my last ten dollars into quarters so that I can clean the clothes that are spilling out of my closet and into the walking space of my tiny, tiny, room.

I am living off of goldfish and cheerios. Mmmm. No meat, fruits, or veggies in this diet. Or dairy products. (Wait... scratch that.. cheddar goldfish)

And yes, I know could go to the millions of dining places on campus...

...BUT IT'S RAINING CATS AND DOGS OUTSIDE.. wait, forget cats and dogs, it's raining freaking elephants and dinosaurs outside.

Did that make me sound hopeless? I tried. Please send food.

2 is better than 1

2005-11-21T22:38:00.000-05:00

Again, I've been tagged by my older sister. Keep 'em coming! These are fun (and I, too, run out of things to write about.)

2 names you go by:
Megan (although hardly anyone calls me this anymore...)
Meg

2 parts of your heritage:
Okay, seriously, this is bad, but I have no idea. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess....
French
Scotch-Irish (Heather, I'm assuming I'm part of that?)

2 things that scare you:
losing someone I love
war

2 things you're wearing right now:
khaki linen pants (SO COMFORTABLE)
a blue hoodie

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment)
Phish
Tim Reynolds (badass guitar genius)

2 favorite songs (at the moment):
"A Punch-Up at a Wedding," Radiohead
"We Squirm," the Microphones (beautiful lyrics you must read)

2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love):
total and complete honesty
a sense of humor

2 truths:
I cry a whole lot (I'm just emotional).
I have the best friends in the entire universe.

2 physical things that appeal to you (in someone else):
curly hair
strong hands

2 of your favorite hobbies:
reading
taking pictures

2 things you want really badly
BIRKENSTOCKS, BIRKENSTOCKS, BIRKENSTOCKS! (and now, once I've said and written that word numerous times, it sounds/looks funny)
peace

2 places you want to go on vacation:
London
Santorini

2 things you want to do before you die:
be a published author
go sky-diving

2 ways that you are stereotypically a chick:
perhaps the way I scream bloody-murder when I see a spider, camel-back cricket, or any other bug larger than my thumbnail!!
um.. I take a lot of showers? I'm not that chick-y

2 things you are thinking about now:
going home!!!!
the "talk" my ex-boyfriend wants to have when I get back home...

2 stores you shop at:
Urban Outfitters
Marshalls (woo hoo cashmere sweaters for $30 and brand name jeans for $8!!)

2 people you would like to see take this quiz:
okay... Heather, the only one who reads this with a blog, has already done it.. therefore
Mom
Charity
Both of you get blogs and do this!
And, anyone who stops by and would like to do it, as well. Just let me know you've done it.

Things that make me cry (because I'm laughing so hard)

2005-11-18T17:35:00.000-05:00

My global culture professor, in a discussion of Zheng He, Chinese voyager:

"He was a seaman... though he couldn't produce his own."
The whole class explodes in laughter.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself."

I'm going to miss this class next semester.

A nice and easy, ROUGH night (in more than one way)

2005-11-17T05:03:00.000-05:00

EDIT: Okay... I don't know why, but the spaces I neatly placed between each paragraph are not showing up.. again I HATE COMPUTERS. So I'll bold the first word of every paragraph... don't ask why, I just am.

LET me just start off by saying that the title is in no way sexual. (Tim said it)

I WENT to a concert last night, a bad idea, but also a BADASS idea. Tim Reynolds came to JMU!!! TIM! REYNOLDS! For those of you who don't know, he often plays with Dave Matthews (and I love Dave Matthews Band! Love, love, love!!) I mean, I was so close to this guy that I could've spit on him had I felt the need (I didn't though).

TIM Reynolds is amazing on the guitar. This guy does things with a guitar that most people couldn't even dream of doing. HE PLAYED THE GUITAR WITH HIS TEETH!! HIS TEETH! He started the night off by saying, "In the words of Tina Turner, we're gonna start this night off nice and easy, and we'll end it nice and rough."He played many well-known songs, but put his own spin on them. He played "Whole Lotta Love" and "Imagine," and he ended with his own rendition of "All You Need Is Love."

I AM still shocked. Seriously. And I do believe that he was on something (he put on goggles during a song, for crying out loud! It was pretty cool, though).. but maybe not. He said a bunch of weird stuff, and a bunch of cool stuff, such as, "This guitar is a freak, and I'm gonna prove it right now," "That song was definitely not about eating mushrooms and wondering what was going to happen," and "Allegiance to the confusion only leads to more confusion," which he said before singing a song titled "Mind Control." (He was very political. Something I did not know, and I really liked his songs.)

THE concert was one of the best I've been to. It was laid back and personal. When it was over, I felt refreshed and pumped up...

...WHICH is a good thing because I had to write a FIVE PAGE PAPER for art history. For those of you who don't know, art history=death (and the death is a slow and painful one). I stayed up until 4 a.m. (with the help of my older sister, HOWEVER!!! she did NOT write the paper, but she keeps telling everyone she did). I finally finished the paper around 12:20 today, after having a nervous breakdown because I couldn't save the paper, add/delete anything to/from the paper, copy or paste anything, add pictures.. blah blah blah I HATE COMPUTERS!!!

ANYWAYS.. That was my very eventful, kickass, sucky night. And now, here are some very dark, blurry (or artistic.. if you put yourself in that mindset) pictures of TIM REYNOLDS!!!

The goggles.

Yes, he is playing the guitar with HIS F*ING TEETH!!! (Ignore the red hat.)

This is Tim, singing his little heart out.

I got a nose ring

2005-11-14T22:28:00.000-05:00

See, there it is. It's very small, and it doesn't overpower my nose or make me look like a punk. It has received a ton of praise, which has, in turn, boosted my ego (HA! I'm just kidding!!). It has received praise, though, and everyone who sees it wants one just like it.

I was afraid to tell my mom, but she took it better than I thought. All she said was, "MEGAN!!! You are a silly, silly girl!" And then she proceeded to laugh and tell me that she knew I was going to do it. I love my mom!

Now, I am definitely afraid of what my dad will think, and both of my grandmothers, and my grandpa. But you know what? It is SO staying in, regardless of what they think.. because, to be quite honest, I think it's cute.

Holy hell! I'm in college.

2005-11-10T21:59:00.000-05:00

I think it just now hit me.

I love it here, but I'm ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Good food and family; two things I miss most.

Just thinking...

2005-11-09T22:25:00.000-05:00

You know that song Adam Sandler sings in "The Wedding Singer?" "LOVE STINKS!!"

He's right. Well.. almost right.

Only when it's not reciprocated does love stink. And getting over love stinks. And it's hard.

That's all.

Some things you may not know about me

2005-11-09T18:47:00.000-05:00

~I am attracted to guys with mohawks.

~I want to write a book just so I can write a dedication page.

~I think oreos should come quadruple stuffed.

~I love the way my fingers feel when sinking into a barrel of beans (and I do it whenever I am given the chance).

~I am lazy, and I admit it.

~If I could, I would read all day, every day.

~Sometimes I write when I don't have to, simply because I love to write (even if it's just the alphabet or vocabulary words).

~I watch three shows religiously (The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, and Nip/Tuck). I love Jon Stewart.

~I have a horrible temper; it's ugly. (but I am trying to make it better)

~I want more small tattoos. And a nose ring.

~I wish I could draw/paint (because sometimes words aren't enough).

~The Microphones and Radiohead inspire me. They make me want to write until there's nothing left.

~I am one of the biggest nerds you will ever meet. (but you'll only know that if you get to know me in depth) I am a closet nerd.

~Today's society thoroughly disappoints me.

~I wish I had lived during the '60s.

~If I could, I would love to meet the following people: my grandfather, the Beatles (especially John Lennon and George Harrison), Sylvia Plath, Longfellow, Walt Whitman, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Elliott Smith, Dave Matthews, Thom Yorke (well.. I guess all of Radiohead, too, but mainly Thom Yorke), Jon Stewart, Johnny Depp, Hunter S. Thompson, Jack Kerouac, Eve (first woman, not the rapper)

~I absolutely love, love, love photography and writing.

~My sisters and my mom are my heroes/role models.

~I love anything green tea/tea tree oil (smells).

~I wish hair grew fast enough so I could experiment with different hair lengths/styles daily (hourly if I so desired).

~I would like to dye my hair some off-the-wall color.. such as green (for a week or so).

~I still sleep with the teddy bear and blanket I've had since I was a little girl.

~I am still a little girl.

~I am addicted to Harry Potter, and I cannot wait until November 18th (when the next movie comes out). I also cannot wait until the next (and last.. *tear*) book comes out.

~Speaking of Harry Potter, I want to live at Hogwarts.

~I have already picked out my Halloween costume for next year. I will be a Scrubbing Bubble.

~I have thought about possible children's names (boys: Barrett Ross, Aiden; girls: Finley Grace, Acadia). AND without the help of a male partner. I have not done that.

~I walk v e r y s l o w l y. Unless I am late for class, andthenIwalkveryveryfast.

~As much as I complain about it, I love walking to class (because I get to spend quality time with my iPod).

Things that make me cry (because I'm laughing so hard)

2005-11-08T20:00:00.000-05:00

"No, that guy's just a lardass who likes to eat donuts!"
-my psychology teacher, during a discussion of why we do the things we do and why we act the way we do

WTF?!?!

2005-11-08T13:52:00.000-05:00

Okay, I have just seen the most disturbing thing ever.

I was trying to finish a psychology quiz online (I remembered! Yay!), and I could not find the answer in the book. The question was "How does psychology explain why people sometimes mistreat others? (Refer to the Abu Ghraib prison photos)" And so I did.

HAVE YOU SEEN THESE FUCKING PICTURES?

(Mom, I apologize, but really, it's necessary.)

How could I have missed those pictures?? Yes, I don't watch the news (unless you count The Daily Show and The Colbert Report..), but SERIOUSLY!!

And this is my country? These are our soldiers? This is the way we "liberate" Iraq? How many of those prisoners do you think were actually a threat? How many of those guys are probably innocent?

I'm sorry, but I don't want anything to do with it. Those pictures made me sick to my stomach. I just don't think anyone deserves that kind of treatment. Why not something a little more humane? I'm not suggesting that we simply smack them on the wrists, tell them we're disappointed in them, and send them on their merry way. But this?? This is INSANE, simply someone on a power-trip.

It disappoints me.

And I'm not proud of our country right now.

And I'm not afraid to say that out loud.

Some damn good advice, if I do say so myself

2005-11-07T23:59:00.000-05:00

My sister and I were just talking about how we can't find anymore creative things to write about in our blogs, that something has to happen in order to spark something inside of us that says, "BLOG THIS! BLOG THIS RIGHT NOW!" (Like the crackhead teacher. Yes, I said crackhead.)

While I'm sorry to inform you that I haven't run into any crackheads (at least I don't think I have...), I am proud of this post because I am proud of the people who said these things (my family, my best friends, and me. Yes.. I give myself advice. You do too, so shut up!). The following are some of the best words of advice that I have ever gotten, and I am glad to share them with you:

Don't forget to breathe.

Don't worry so much; it will only cause problems that weren't there in the first place.

Write down everything you just told me: everything you feel, fear, want... just everything. Then leave it alone for a couple of hours, come back when you've cooled off, and then read it and do what you think is best for you.

Listen to your mom; she's always right.

GO TO SLEEP! IT'S FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!

Never, ever do one kegstand after another. Never. As a matter of fact, don't do anymore kegstands.

Put yourself in his/her shoes, and then think about what you just said.

Be yourself; you're good at it. And it's much easier than pretending.

You should listen to some Radiohead; I think you'd like them. (THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I do.)

Don't fight for something that no longer exists. You'll kill yourself over an illusion.

You better not say that in front of your grandmother!

Don't eat anymore candy. Seriously. I'm not kidding. Stop.

Don't compromise yourself just to please someone else.

THINK! For five minutes... just think, then act.

Watch your head!! (Just thought I'd add that one for shits and giggles.)

There's tons more awesome advice that my friends and family give me (yes, and that I give to myself as well), but I have this problem with forgetting to write things down when I hear them, and so... wait... what was I going to say?

It's not me, it's you

2005-11-02T07:55:00.000-05:00

I don't know why, but lately people are confusing me, disappointing me, and just plain pissing me off. I don't understand people anymore, don't understand how they can be so petty and so immature.. so damn trivial.

For example:

The old best friend who was, let me just put it out there, a bitch, who all of a sudden wants to hang out with me every second. I don't get it. It's weird, it's confusing, and I don't think it's worth it. I'm sorry.

The girl who calls herself my new best friend. You're crazy. First you're up, then you're down, then you're this and that.. you can't make up your mind. You don't act like a best friend. I'm not here to be a friend you can have when its convenient for you. I don't play that game anymore. I love you, I do. I'm glad you're my friend. BUT THINK FOR YOURSELF EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. It's easy. And don't take crap from anyone; I don't see how you do it.. let people walk over you..

The girl who's always talking about someone. What do you get out of that? Does it make you feel better about yourself? I hate it; I do. It's not fun, and it only makes you look less intelligent. And you're so smart. Don't stoop to that level.

The guy who likes me. He makes me laugh, really hard, all the time. And I can't give him a chance (because of the next person). I'm sorry, but I don't want you to kiss me, or hold my hand, or rub my face, or touch me at all. Or look at me like that. You're too confusing, too, because some days you feel it and some days you don't. Why? And please don't be mad at me because I can't give you a chance right now. I'm not asking you to wait on me--don't. But don't stop making me laugh.. and don't stop being there. I need a friend now, a good one, and I know you can do that for me.

The guy I am madly in love with. You are the most confusing of all. I don't understand you one bit. You can't keep doing what you are doing; you are so hot and cold. Make up your mind, tell me what you're thinking, how you feel. Tell me what you want, tell me why. Don't sugar-coat it. Yell at me, cry to me, laugh with me--just tell me something I can feel; tell me something with meaning. You can't kep telling me you love me, telling me you want it to work out, telling me you care about me, visiting me & have an f*ing (didn't say it mom) amazing time, and then go back and tell me it won't work. That's right, it won't work if you think like that, if you keep that mindset. I think you just don't want it badly enough. You think it's too hard? Screw that. Don't make promises you can't keep, and don't make excuses. I think you know who you are. You are a beautiful, beautiful person. You lost yourself, I guess. If you need to find yourself, go do it, but don't make me feel as if I'm losing myself because of it. I know who I am, and I am damn proud of it. And I'm not mad at you, I don't blame you. I just don't understand you. Not one bit. And yes, I know things change, but isn't it weird how quickly they can change right back when we're together? If you won't work for it, then I won't either. I'm letting this go. (yeah right) And when I said I was giving you space and time, that didn't mean I was wishing you to disappear completely. Talk to me. Don't be so indifferent. I need your friendship more than anything.

And there's more, I could go on and on. And I'm not complaining, just writing because it's on my mind. I know I can't change these things; I've accepted it. But people.. are driving me insane. I just need peace.

Things that make me cry (because I'm laughing so hard)

2005-11-01T05:46:00.000-05:00

"Do you think he [Bush] was painting an unventilated room when he appointed Meyers?"
-Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report

A Poem

2005-10-31T19:10:00.000-05:00

(just because I say it is.)

It makes sense to me, and that's all that matters.

oh, don't you know?
we all see the world from different angles.
i'm glad my view isn't obstructed;
i'm sorry that yours is.
so go head, turn your back.
you can't see me anyway.
we're all blind to certain things,
i'm sorry this is yours.

Things that make me cry (because I'm laughing so hard)

2005-10-31T03:34:00.000-05:00

Said by my GCOM groupmate while we were giving a presentation (and just imagine how hard it was for me to control my laughter while in front of 25 other people and the professor):

The quote was "Et tu, Brute?" Caesar's last words.

And she said:

"Et tu, BROOT!"

Yes, as in, "Come here you little brute."

I almost died. I guess that's the English major in me.

I've been tagged

2005-10-28T21:01:00.000-04:00

7 things I want to do before I die:
1. Backpack around Europe
2. Visit London for a long time (in my sister's flat.. Hopefully)
3. Write professionally
4. Live on a lake
5. Learn to snowboard/skateboard
6. Make a difference in the world
7. Be loved as much as I love

7 things I cannot do:
1. Any kind of math
2. Tolerate dumb, ditzy, stupid people
3. Stop laughing once I've started
4. Roll my tongue
5. Not cry while being yelled at, or while fighting
6. Change myself just to please another
7. Juggle

7 things I'm attracted to:
1. A sense of humor
2. Honesty
3. Curly hair
4. Strong hands
5. Unique styles
6. Intelligence
7. Accents (preferably English.. or something exotic :o) )

7 things I say often:
1. Bummer
2. Maaannn, or just man (for example: Maaaaan, that sucks, or That's too hard, man)
3. Oh. My. God.
4. Huh?
5. Yeah, yeah
6. Holy hell!
7. Alrighty

7 celebrity obsessions:
1. Dave Matthews
2. Thom Yorke
3. Johnny Depp
4. Jon Stewart
5. Kirstin Dunst
6. Meg Ryan
7. Tom Hanks

And I would like anyone who reads this to do it. It's fun.

HD-We have a lot in common, you see!

Suite Revenge

2005-10-26T21:05:00.000-04:00

I did something I probably could have lived without doing, but I wanted to get a point across. I wrote, in huge letters on the message board attached to my door, GROSS. The GROSS referring to the piles and piles of my suitemate's trash that have been in our common room, practically in front of my door, for a week, which they left there while they went on a lacrosse trip.

Okay.. I know it was unnecessary, but when tripping over their nasty trash becomes a daily thing for me, I get kind of pissed off. TAKE YOUR DAMN TRASH TO THE DUMPSTER! IT'S ONLY 10 STEPS FROM THE DORM!

Obviously, the GROSS pissed them off because while I was awake at 1:30 am, I heard them writing on my board. And after that, I heard them calling my roommate and me losers, who never talk to them but write things on their boards about them.

Let me just say that the day I moved in here, I went into their room and introduced myself. They looked at me like I was.. let's just say a rotten box of Chinese noodles (which smells really gross, by the way). Every time I saw them after that, I would always say hey, but they acted as if I weren't even worth a hello. So I stopped acknowledging them. I don't like mean people. Yes, mean people suck.

Well, after they finished yelling and calling me a loser, they went down the hall. I opened my door and read what they had written. Covering my board were words such as smelly, stinky, nasty, scurvy, etc. I was tempted to write, I AGREE. Instead I drew a big peace sign.

They came back in and saw it, and I believe they were shocked. And then they were OBNOXIOUSLY loud for the rest of the night (I could not sleep, thank you), but the trash was gone when I went to class this morning. Now, I know they didn't clean up for little 'ol loser me, but hopefully I got my point across. Peacefully.

(And the really funny thing about this whole incident is.. They must think they're gross, too because I NEVER wrote down M***** and L**** are GROSS. Yet, they automatically thought it was about them.. I mean, it was, but still..)

Now, do us all a favor and DON'T LEAVE YOUR TRASH WHERE OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TO SMELL IT AND AVOID TRIPPING OVER IT! DAMN!

Peace.

My BEST friends

2005-10-26T00:27:00.000-04:00

You know how I said my sisters are awesome? They're beyond that, they're f*ing incredible!!! (Sorry, Mom.. I didn't say it.) I miss them tons; some days are worse than others, and today I miss them so damn much. I don't know why today, but I wish I had a car because if I did, I would have driven to see them after my classes.. and then driven all the way back. They're that awesome and I miss them that much. They're my best friends.

To Charity, who doesn't read this:
I know we fight a lot, but I'm hoping now that we don't see each other, we'll stop being so stupid. I miss having you sleep in my bed because you're such a scaredy cat, and I miss having you around to make me laugh. You're the most outgoing, determined person I know. (Sometimes I wish I could be more like you) Don't ever lose that. I love you!!

And to Heather:
I think you're the coolest, too. (YOU MADE ME CRY!!!! HOW DARE YOU!) You inspire me in so many different ways. And I always have the best times with you! I love you!! And I am sending the fertilest of thoughts. And I don't care if "fertilest" isn't a word. It is now.

(And yes.. I always make words out of the word verification. I'd like to make my own. For example, fkwrdvrifction)

Heroes/Reasons for Living

2005-10-25T22:29:00.000-04:00

My sister found this, and I thought it was neat. So here are my heroes and reasons for living:

My sisters (Heather and Charity) and my mom (Robyn)/love/the smells of fresh laundry, snow, Christmas, autumn (& leaves burning), a new role of film, and home/the sound of snowflakes hitting the ground/chill music-Dave Matthews Band, Jack Johnson, O.A.R., Bob Marley, Phish, Bela Fleck/sweaters/Thanksgiving & Christmas/crossword puzzles/black and white photography/hearing stories about my grandfather/chunky rings/pillows/Burt's Bees Beeswax Lip Balm/the feel and sound of my fountain pen on a piece of paper/my dogs/puppy breath/sailing with my dad/writing/good advice/reading/flip flops/hoodies/Bath & Body Works Eucalyptus Spearmint lotion/the sound of bongos outside my window/raspberries/Radiohead/JEANS & t-shirts/a good pair of socks/mountains, waterfalls, trees in autumn/IKEA, Urban Outfitters, The World Market, The Fresh Market/John Lennon, Elliott Smith, Thom Yorke, Dave Matthews/visiting big cities, living in a small town/honesty/true friends/campfires/The Daily Show, Jon Stewart/puppies and kittens/memories/poetry/the painting that hangs above my bed/my dreamcatcher/big bags (purses)/handmade gifts/my iPod/rainy days/laughing/cuddling/blogs/strong hands, blue eyes, curly hair/getting mail/books that change my life: The Time Traveler's Wife, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Catcher in the Rye, Dandelion Wine/different cultures and the people in them

My fall break with a turkey and a praying mantis

2005-10-24T03:53:00.000-04:00

My fall break was short, but sweet. I didn't post while I was home because our computer is deathly slow, and I seriously almost had a nervous breakdown while attempting to check my e-mail. I am not patient at all. (But then again, who is when it takes 30 minutes to open up ONE e-mail?? If someone out there is.. well nevermind. No one's that patient. And if you say you are.. well then you're lying.)

I spent most of my break lounging around; however, I did go shopping! (where I found cashmere sweaters for $30! I'm in love with cashmere now; it's so damn soft!) I also saw a few old friends and laughed a whole lot.

My favorite part of the weekend, though, was being able to spend time with my oldest sister. My sisters are awesome, and the worst part about college is that I'm so far away from them. One of my sisters was working all weeked for the race, but I did get to see Heather. We went to the Barbecue Festival in Lexington, NC (our old hometown) and had so much fun! We basically walked around and watched people all day. Oh yes.. and we saw TONS of puppies.. and snuck into the Candy Factory because my sister has connections.

After the Barbecue Festival, we drove around Lexington, reminiscing. (Well.. Heather did most of the reminiscing because I was only 5 when we lived there.) We were going to see our old house when we came upon this:

Yes, that's a turkey. It was in the middle of the road, and by the time we had turned around, it had traveled to the other side.. WHERE THERE WERE MORE TURKEYS!!! I guess you could say we used to live out in the country... Heather put it nicely by saying, "What makes it even better are them there Christmas lights on that there fence!"

After driving around for a while, we headed back to my sister's house. We stopped by the World Market where she bought some Pumpkin Ale (which I thought was very yummy.. and it does taste like something they would drink in Hogsmeade!)

We finally got to her house, opened the garage, and saw this:

Now, praying mantises freak me out.. And this one was HUGE. As scary as they are (quit laughing), I usually expect to see them looking like Confucious, with long black mustaches and soft billowy robes, offering me words of wisdom (they just look so peaceful and wise). However, as Heather tried to coax him outside, this one seemed to be saying, "LEAVE ME BE, WOMAN! I'm meditating, and after that I shall like to climb up that wall over there."

I'm sure you can imagine what we looked like.. Standing just close enough to move the little guy outside, yet far enough so that in case he decided to jump, we would be out of his range. (I guess Heather doesn't like praying mantises much either.) All of a sudden, the garage light cut off and both Heather and I let out blood curdling screams. Why? Well because when it gets dark praying mantises turn into huge 50 feet insects who eat humans limb by limb..

Things that make me cry (because I'm laughing so hard)

2005-10-20T01:09:00.000-04:00

(I'm going to go with my sister on this one and make this a regular post!)

During a discussion of December 7, my history teacher found out one of the students was born on that day. His reply?

"You were born on December 7th?! THE DAY THAT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY?! Well, man, that sucks, on that day I go out and kick a Toyota!"

There's no place like home

2005-10-18T14:48:00.000-04:00

Yes, I know it's been a while. Let's just move on and pretend it didn't happen.

This weekend is my Fall Break, and I am so excited to be going home! It's amazing how things change.. I used to get so bored at home, and I always wanted to be somewhere else. Now, I sometimes find myself longing to be there and craving the atmosphere, the people there.

I miss other things, too. For example, I miss the shower! I can't wait to go home and actually be able to move my limbs in a HUGE SHOWER! (well.. in comparison) I also cannot wait to take a bath, to do my laundry without paying $10, to eat Mi Ranchito-the best mexican food ever, TO DRIVE SOMEWHERE INSTEAD OF WALKING THIRTY MINUTES, to sleep in my bed.

Let's get to my bed, or rather, my bedroom. The last time I went home, my room was not mine. My older sister had taken over! There were no pieces of me there (besides the furniture), and it looked as though it had never been mine. Do you know how AWFUL it is to come home to your room, and it's completely different? It doesn't look the way it does in your memories. I hate that. She better change it back, or it's on. I'll declare war.

Either way, I'm still excited to go home.

Okay

2005-10-10T20:25:00.000-04:00

So... After crying until I can't cry anymore, until I'm only heaving, and after feeling like my life is over, and after feeling sorry for myself for a couple of days, I have come to the conclusion that I am okay. I can say that and actually believe it. And that is a good feeling. I'm just not going to let this get the best of me. I'm not going to put everything I have into something that no longer exists. Things change, people change, and life goes on.

I'm not saying that this is easy. It's not; it's so hard, and it hurts so much. I didn't just lose a boyfriend, but I lost my best friend. We talked the first couple of days after it happened, and now we don't. That's okay; I'll give him his space. I just hope he knows that this silence is killing me, that nothing I could ever say to him could cut him as deep as this silence does me. I can live without the "dating relationship," but I can not live without his friendship. He is the best friend I have ever had. Ever. We used to sit and talk for hours. And we used to sit in silence, and it wasn't awkward. We used to have so much fun.

And now I feel cheated and let down and betrayed; I don't have that person in my life anymore all because of a breakup.

I think there is something seriously wrong with that, and I don't get it.

But for now, I'm okay because I know everything will get better and it will work out in the end.

They were right, again.

2005-10-07T21:55:00.000-04:00

My boyfriend and I broke up. And I would like to write about it and say how I feel, but I can't. The minute I need words, they fail me. I can not find words to describe this.

Don't tell me, "I told you so." Don't tell me that it was bound to happen, that I should have seen it. Don't tell me that there are other fish in the sea (I know this. Already, I could have 2 of them, but I don't want them). Don't tell me that things will get better. Don't tell me it will all work out in the end. Don't tell me that he wasn't worth it, that he isn't worth it. Dont' tell me that I don't need him.

DON'T TELL ME THAT I'M ONLY 18, AND DON'T TELL ME THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS.

Don't tell me all of the things that people always say. Tell me something that's going to help me, and not that's going to make me mad at you just because I'm not in the mood.

I would love to say, "HA!! I TOLD YOU SO!!"

2005-09-30T22:28:00.000-04:00

Remember my darling suitemates? The one's that are loud and obnoxious, ditzy and annoying? The ones who stole stuff out of my fridge, that never take out their trash, and instead leave it in our common room?

I am sitting at my computer, with my door shut, and I just overheard this. I had to share:

**rustling of the trash bags that have been sitting in our common room for, oh, maybe TWO WEEKS NOW!**
Unclean suitemate #1: "Oh my gosh, name of unclean suitemate #2!!! This is disgusting! I'm going to puke!" **gagging noises** "UGH!!"

Yes, my darling, that is what you get when you don't take your trash out. I agree with you. It smells horrible. And it has for a week now.

Sailing

2005-09-27T21:03:00.000-04:00

Last weekend I went sailing with my dad, and believe it or not, I actually had a good time. I fell in love with it. It was incredible! (As you can tell, it was a perfect weekend for sailing. Wind was present, and had it not been, I would have hated it.) I got to steer the boat, and because it was just my dad and I, I had to learn and participate a lot.

But I loved it. I want a sailboat when I get older, and I want to take trips all over the world! It would be so much fun.. And you have to have waves. Tons and tons of HUGE waves. That was the best part..

Anyways.. we visited with his family, and this is the weird part. It was weird to see these people because the last time I saw them I was little, and.. well.. I don't remember them. It was so strange to see this man who had my dad's hands. This woman who had my aunt's face and eyes.. who in the dark by the fire looked so much like my grandmother when she was young. It was weird, but it was really cool.

And this side of the family is WAY different than the other (meaning, my dad's cousins are different that him and his sister). They drink beer! Not only do they drink it, but they let their kids finish them off. They say "shitfaced" and make all kinds of sexual remarks. They are fun, and I hear they know how to party.

These are my kind of people. I might just go sailing again..

Sailing Pictures

2005-09-27T20:53:00.000-04:00

This was taken from the boat, and it is the fish factory. And it stinks. I wish you could smell through pictures because I want all of you to suffer just as I did.

This was taken from the sailboat. It was VERY windy, and I'm surprised it actually came out. I think these are fishing boats.

This is on the boat. This helps you tighten or loosen the sails. I thought it looked cool.

This is on the boat. You have to tie the line (NOT ROPE!) in a special knot, like this, and it will not budge.

This was taken from the dock near my dad's boat. This bird was always there; it was his post.

For once they were right

2005-09-26T16:18:00.000-04:00

You ever hear about them? They say a lot of things, and most of the times, they are wrong. They tell you to wait 30 minutes after you've eaten a sandwich before you decide to jump back into the swimming pool. They tell you not to stare into the sun and to sit far away from the tv. They also tell you not to listen to your music too loud, when we all know that is the ONLY way to listen to music.

And then they start to talk about college. They LOVE to talk about college. They tell you it's a whole new world, that you'll have so much homework you won't know what to do. That the professors won't give you a break, and that you'll need to study for hours upon hours (which is wrong. I had an exam that I studied for the morning of--this morning--and I know I passed it).

Let's just face it. They don't know what they're talking about.

But they did say one thing that was true. They said at college, you'll meet the best friends of your life, the ones that will be there for you through thick and thin, no matter what. And they're right because tonight, I found that friend. A friend who would stop writing a philosophy paper proving that he exists just to help out little ol' me.

And trust me, he exists. He is an angel, one of the best people I know. There aren't even words to describe this guy. He's the perfect friend, one you'd dream about having and never think that you could find him. One that you could sit with and talk to for hours, or just not say anything at all. One who gives the BEST advice ever, but can say the most ridiculous things, you wonder how he ever got into college in the first place. One that will make you laugh at all the right times, one that will sit on the curb and cry for YOU, just because he wants so badly for everything to work out for you. (Yes. Cry. When I didn't even cry.) And he's a teddy bear. Good for hugs. And we all know you can never have too many hugs.

So, for once, they were right. And thank God they were. If I never have another friend in my entire life, I think I'll do just fine.

Thank you; you're a keeper.

And I love you, I do.

A post in which I complain a whole lot

2005-09-23T13:41:00.000-04:00

I locked myself out of my room yesterday. In a towel. My suitemates were gone, except for the ones in the room next to mine, and they're so horrible I didn't even bother to knock on their door for help (more about that later..). I had to sit outside my room for 30 minutes IN A TOWEL until my other suitemate could find an R.A. to get me a key.. AND GOD FORBID THEY SHOULD HAVE TO DO THAT!!! Because R.A.'s are superior, and they are God, and they never lock themselves out of their rooms. They are perfect. We should strive to be more like the R.A.'s at Frederickson Hall.

Anyway, my suitemates. They suck. Only the ones that live right next to me, though. They are horrible, and when I say horrible, I mean I can't stand to hear their voices. It makes me want to scream. They play field hockey or lacross or something with a stick, which makes them far superior than anyone else. They don't talk to us, and they never smile. C'mon! Smile! It doesn't hurt, really!

Also, when I first moved in here from my other dorm, they stole stuff out of my fridge! Yeah, excuse me, but I'm a college student and that means I am poor. Don't steal my stuff. I left a note in there that says "I HAD TO PAY FOR THESE!" It did say something a little more.. um.. colorful, shall we say? I changed it though, considering I had only talked to them ONCE, and it was kind of rude.

Another thing.. they are annoying. And if you know me, you know that I cannot stand annoying, dumb, ditzy people. I'm sorry, I just can't take it. Who wants to listen to them scream "HOLLA HOLLA HOLLA!" all the time? And If you do.. well then I don't like you either. Anyways.. they keep their trash out in the common area, and it is DISGUSTING! I mean, and I can't believe I'm about to say this, BUT WERE YOU RAISED IN A BARN??!! And it actually smells, too! And by the way.. we know it smells like ass. You don't have to keep reminding us. Besides, we heard you the first FIFTY times.

Okay, I'm finished. I apologize for the excessive amount of CAPS, but you can't complain about your suitemates without using tons of CAPS.

Amusing

2005-09-20T19:55:00.000-04:00

Today in psychology, we talked about consciousness and sleep rhythms and all that good stuff. My professor is hilarious, and he always tries to get us involved whenever he introduces a new concept (although consciousness is an old concept.. though, some people in my class are so dumb, maybe it was new..).

Anyways, he told us he was going to show us a series of images, and all we had to do was say whether the item in the picture was conscious or not. The first pictures were definitely conscious: 2 people dancing, a monkey, a fish, an octopus, a fly, etc. The next images were NOT conscious: a zombie, a potato, a computer, etc.

Nice, right?

He wasn't finish. When everyone though he was finished, he showed us another picture, and I can't think that it was JUST COINCIDENCE that this picture was with the other unconscious images.

Want to know what the picture was?

GEORGE BUSH! Ha! And he asked us, "Now this guy.. do you think he's conscious??" I want you all to know that I laughed. Very loud. Louder than anyone else. (And Heather, if you were there, I'm sure you would have probably laughed louder than me.)

I'm sorry.. it was funny.

That Ph.D. means nothing. I'm right, you're wrong.

2005-09-20T17:21:00.000-04:00

Last night, my psychology book told me there was no such thing as PMS.. Yeah, right! I thought, This book MUST be written by males! Seriously, no uterus, no opinion. Shut your mouth, you have no say in this.

However, I turned to the cover of the book, and lo and behold, it's written by TWO WOMEN! BLASPHEMY! HOW COULD YOU?? TRAITORS!!

Trust me, if you had spent the last two days with me, you would have re-written that book, saying PMS is the most God awful thing on the entire planet. Because it exists. It does. I'm a total nutcase. I am moody (maybe moody isn't the right word..) No, I am bitchy. And I cry/freak out at the littlest things (i.e. the tissue hits the floor, not the trashcan; WHAT?? WHY WON'T YOU SEND THAT TEXT MESSAGE YOU PIECE OF SH--oh.. now those people are staring at me; what??? my iPod doesn't work anymore??? **SOB** oh, it's off.)

So to you, the writers of my pyschology book, bite me. You are oh so wrong.

O-XIT: A Lesson in Speaking Chinese

2005-09-16T18:52:00.000-04:00

For my first semester at JMU, I was lucky enough to get awesome courses with awesome teachers. All of my classes are interesting, and the professors are hilarious (all of them!). My favorite classes are Cultural Anthropology and Global Culture to 1650. If I had to choose which class was my all time favorite, I'm not sure which one I would pick. An hour and 15 minutes with a cute, funny professor with a British accent (HOT HOT HOT), or 50 minutes with a HILARIOUS smartass? (I love smartasses) See my dilemma? (I had to spell check dilemma.. that doesn't look right, does it?)

Anyway (ADD's kicking in).. today in Global Culture we learned about the Ancient Chinese civilization. We usually have a quiz on the reading before each class. Today's first question was to name the first three Chinese dynasties in chronological order. Answer: Xia, Shang, and Zhou. After we finish our quizes, the professor goes over the answers, and this is one of my favorite things about the class. When he asked us what the three dynaisties were, most of the class replied with "the Zee-ah or X-I-A, the Shayng, and the Zoo." He told his TA to mark all of our papers wrong, because those are not the three dynasties.

In Chinese, he said, Xs are prounouced as sh (Xia=She), Shang is pronouced as Shong, and Zs are Js (Zhou=Joe). Most of the class thought this was ridiculous, and so he helped us out by saying:

"Look, it's not that hard to remember. X=Sh.. So, if a Chinese were to get mad, he might say o-xit!!"

I wanna be like Mike

2005-09-14T18:24:00.000-04:00

For those of you who don’t know, JMU is HUGE. Seriously, we have to cross the highway to get to our classes. Beat that.

I don’t exactly know how many students attend JMU, but I’m sure it’s a very large number. Now, imagine all of those students eating lunch each day, and then imagine how many students actually finish their lunches. Now, imagine how much food isn’t eaten by these students (food wasted or food that is still in all the cafeterias and dining places after a day).

HOLY HELL THAT’S A LOT OF FOOD!

Now imagine this:
I was eating lunch yesterday in D-Hall (a place known to some as a "stoner’s heaven" because there is SO! MUCH! FOOD! THERE!), and my really good friend Mike looked down at his plate. He had eaten half of everything. Half a hamburger, half a plate of fries, half a turkey sandwich.. you get the idea. He looked up, looked around the table and said, "Man, I wish I could send all of my wasted food to the Katrina victims." As soon as he said that everyone got quiet, and then (because Mike was eating with three girls), we all said "Awwww! That’s so sweet!" **You can throw up now.**

But really, that is sweet. And he meant it.. How many people think like that these days? Why can't we all think like that? And why couldn't we send all of our leftovers? I wish we could. Think of how many people we could feed just by the leftovers from all the eating places on our campus! A lot, because we already feed thousands daily!! Thousands who, most of the time, never finish their meals!

..just a thought.

Happy Birthday to you, too!

2005-09-14T18:05:00.000-04:00

Today is my oldest sister's birthday. She is ____ years old (use your imagination), and though I can't be there in person (why hasn't ANYONE figured out how to beam yet?!?), I can be there through this thing.. my blog.

I know she will read this, and when she does, she will know that I am sending her present in the mail very soon (hopefully). She will also know that I wish her the happiest birthday, and that I hope today was better than yesterday. She will know that I think she is one of the coolest, most unique, and best people I know; that she is an awesome writer and photographer, and that I hope one day I can make such beautiful art out of my words and pictures like she does with hers. She will know that she is not only one of the best sisters I could ever ask for, but also one of the best friends I have, that I value her opinion above many others, that she gives some of the best advice I've ever heard! (Simple, like "Don't forget to breathe," but things we oftentimes forget and need to be reminded of.) And yes Heather, I know I just ended a sentence in a preposition, but this is my blog and I make all the rules.. of.

There are thousands of other things I could say about my sister, but then everyone else would be jealous that they do not have a sister as KICK ASS as mine, so I'll shut up.

Happy Birthday, Heather! Keep checking your mail soon, because I plan to keep my position as "Best Present Giver EVER!" Thank you for always being there! I love you!

Running=GOD AWFUL PAIN

2005-09-12T22:35:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I went running.. Not a long run, just a short run past the village, to the end of the street, and all the way back. It only took 20 minutes, but it was nice.. for the time being.

I got back to my dorm, and as soon as I opened the door I was blasted in the face with HOTTER THAN HELL AIR. (Not that that has anything whatsoever to do with this post, I just want you to know that each time I walk into my dorm I can hear the demons cackling and Satan yelling, "Yo, turn up the heat! These sucka's gotta FRY!" Because Satan is from the ghetto and that is how he talks. And it's really hot in my dorm.)

So... I laid down on my floor in front of the fan to cool off and quickly decided that a cold shower would be much better than lying in front of a $10 fan. As soon as I went to get up, I SCREAMED! An excruciating pain went through my knee, and it brought tears to my eyes.. no joke. (I know, I know, I shouldn't have run in the first place.. 1/2 torn ACL that I have.. BUT I DO NOT WANT TO GAIN THE FRESHMAN FIFTEEN!) My knee was swollen, bruised (???), and.. well, it just looked really gross. All today I've had to take the stairs verrryyyy sllloowwllyyyyy, which, at JMU is totally not acceptible becauseeveryonehastobetherenownownow!

And so, tonight, I will do what everyone has been telling me to do for 3 years. I am going swimming!

(This post was completely useless, but I never have homework **knock on wood**, and I get bored. Envy me.)

F.Y.I.

2005-09-11T16:26:00.000-04:00

Just so you know.. The rumor about college students ordering pizza at 2 o'clock in the morning is NOT a rumor. It's SOOO true.

IT CAME WITH RANCH DRESSING!!!

Chanello's, where have you been all my life?

For Heather

2005-09-09T20:51:00.000-04:00

I just checked my e-mail, and I saw something that I thought you would def. enjoy!

"Voting is like driving. If you want to go forward select D, and if you want to go backwards select R."
-In an e-mail from the jmudemocrats

I knew you'd like that.

Matters of the Heart

2005-09-09T16:02:00.000-04:00

I got a text message this morning (2:51 am) that made me feel both so high and so low at the same time.

Before I go on, you must know that I worry ALL. THE. TIME. At night when I set my alarm, I worry that I didn't set it right and that I won't get up in time for my classes. When people say they are going to call and then they don't, I start to worry. Are they okay, are they safe, are they in trouble, did they just forget... and most of the time yes, they just forgot, but still.. I worry. I worry about every little thing.

Now that you know that, back to the text.

Although my boyfriend is only 45 minutes to an hour away from me, it is so hard to get a chance to see him. I've only seen him once since I've been at college (and yes, that's more than most, and I am thankful for that, but I'm sure everyone would agree that that one time leaves you wanting more, more, more time), and that's because someone close to me gave him a ride up here. I tried all this past week to get in touch with a guy who was OFFERING RIDES up to UVA, and my efforts failed. I guess he changed his mind.

Anyways, the point is, I desparately want to see my boyfriend. I need to. You may say, "No, you dont need to, you just want to." But you're wrong, I NEED to see him. And this gets back to the worrying. I don't worry about my boyfriend doing anything to hurt me, because he's not like that. He is the sweetest, most thoughtful person I have EVER met, and I mean that. He is a beautiful person, inside and out, and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I know this. But that doesn't change the fact that I am so scared of losing him. And that is what I worry about, because with something that feels so right, isn't it natural to get so scared of losing it? Or am I the only one that feels this way?

The message did make my night, because I wasn't okay. And it also made me feel so ashamed because it made me feel as though I had doubted everything. It said a lot of things in only a couple of words, but the words that hit me the most were these:

"This can and will work. Keep your heart in it. Remember all we've done together. I love you, always."

To you, my heart has always been in this. My heart is the only thing that has ever been totally and completely in this. My mind just hasn't. Because I listen to what other people say, and I let their words affect me, and for that I am so sorry. I can't possibly top the words you said to me in that small message, and I only hope that these will make you feel half as good as those made me feel. I have never doubted you, have never doubted us. In fact, I have never been so sure of anything in my life. I am so thankful for you; for everything you say and do. And I'm sorry I worry so much; I know that must be annoying. From now on I'm going to try not to listen to what everyone else says. I'm not going to take their words so seriously and to heart. I'm going to try not to worry so much.. because why should I waste my time worrying when I can spend it so totally and completely and utterly insane with happiness? I'm sorry. I love you, too, always.

Don't play with my emotions like that!

2005-09-08T17:27:00.000-04:00

Yesterday while I was taking a nap, my mom called and left me a message. I usually take a nap on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 9-12 (hey, I like my sleep!), so when I wake up, I'm usually starving! The message my mom left me was sweet, but it went a little something like this:

"Hey, Megan, I just wanted you to know that we're having homemade spaghetti tonight for dinner. Yeah, that's right, HOMEMADE SPAGHETTI, your FAVORITE. HA!! And you can't have any!! Oh geez, I wish you could just smell it, mmmm it smells so good. It has olives and tomatoes and hamburger and onions in it. Mmmm, I can't wait to eat a plate myself! MMMMMMM!!! YUMMMMMYYYYY!!! "

Okay.. so maybe it wasn't exactly like that, but you get the idea. It's 12 o clock, I just woke up for a nap, my mouth is now watering, and all I want is a big plate of spaghetti. But I can't have it!!! I can, though, have a turkey burger! Wooo hoo, turkey burger! Sounds good, right? Wrong. It's like the McChicken sandwich at McDonald's.. You know, where you can't tell if the chicken actually is chicken or if it's fish... or some kind of other white meat... maybe... Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

Anyways, after having a turkey burger, I can now say that turkeys should never be burgers.. Just like beagles.

(And P.S... Just in case my mom does read this, I did enjoy the message; it made me smile. Thank you. And I miss spaghetti a lot.)

torching time, talking rhymes

A poem, until tomorrow

Happy Happy!

I'm back.. if you'll have me!

Summertiiiime, and the livin's easy*

M.I.A. UPDATE!

M.I.A. (which can also stand for My Insides Ache)

Robot invasion

Tomatoes and free wings

I'm a thief (plus an update on the craziness of Tom Cruise)

Home again, home again

He's almost as annoying as this incessant ringing in my ear

This post would make my grandmother (and many other family members, perhaps) convulse

I am a horrible blogger

I'm back and I'm bored

Where I've been and where I'll be

It's only a matter of time...

Dorms=DEATH

God hates math, too

From Amsterdam with Love

Wocka wocka wocka!

I'm stuck in *"High Fidelity"

I swear I didn't know ducks could be scary

HELLo, I'm back

Spring Break

These things are my fourte (ha)

Army-Psycho Jeff

Things that make me laugh

I am laughing my ass off as I type this

Secretive

Fraggle Hall (I am young, but I have seen enough to write this post..) *has been edited!*

Things that make me laugh and feel warm inside

All you need is love

Watch this movie!!

Taking words from when I had them..

Things that make me laugh

Birthday Bottles

B(itch)est Friend

Things that make me laugh

Um.. screw my p's and q's

Yoga booty!

Again!

Come again?

Irritated

While I was gone.. (complete with many, many pictures)

I'm in big trouble. Yep.

Why Knot?!

Long time no see

Wow

The sock, an R.A., a mental institution, and capital punishment

Annoyed!

Things that make me cry (because I'm laughing so hard)

Ohh yeahh... that...

Things I am looking forward to over Christmas Break

Things that make me cry (because I'm laughing so hard)

Want to see what I did in psychology today?

Laptop, please?

I can understand a pet rock.. but THIS?

thank you

november 30, 2:30 a.m.

Things that make me cry (because I'm laughing so hard)

Sense-ual

S.O.S.

2 is better than 1

Things that make me cry (because I'm laughing so hard)

A nice and easy, ROUGH night (in more than one way)

I got a nose ring

Holy hell! I'm in college.

Just thinking...

Some things you may not know about me

Things that make me cry (because I'm laughing so hard)

WTF?!?!

Some damn good advice, if I do say so myself

It's not me, it's you

Things that make me cry (because I'm laughing so hard)

A Poem

Things that make me cry (because I'm laughing so hard)

I've been tagged

Suite Revenge

My BEST friends

Fraggle Hall (I am young, but I have seen enough to write this post..) has been edited!